He Chose Me

My love,

I am too ashamed to stand before you today. I am yet again reminded of how far I am from perfect. I look at you and wonder what you see in me. I wonder if you have really made the right choice, to choose me, when there are women better than me; smarter, fairer, gentler than me. Am I the right height? Am I tall enough? Do I have the right amount of flesh to cover my bones? Am I your type? They say this union is eternal and there is no turning back, are you sure I am THE ONE?

You see, love, you keep reminding me you chose me and that nothing I can do will make you change your mind. But I look at my present self, my past self, and all I can do is feel embarrassed to be the one you chose. What if the rest of the world see me as your bride? Won’t they laugh you to scorn? Won’t they remind you there is better than me? Won’t they change your mind?

I look at my past, my love, and all I can see are mistakes after mistakes. I fell a little too hard on my journey to you, and sometimes I made the same mistake over and over again. My decisions were complicated, and no one seemed to understand me; honestly, I don’t blame them. I didn’t understand them myself sometimes. No, I did not enjoy it. It made my heart hurt.

I hated myself. All I saw were the ugly scars I came back with from the fights I had with my past, trying to fight it’s tight grip on me. I always thought, if you look back and see who I was, you will hang your head and say dreadful words like, “Maybe I made a mistake. You are not the one. I’m sorry.”

So I ask again, are you sure I am her?

Think about it.

Really think about it.

I look at you and all I can see is perfection. You have a presence about you that draws me to
you. You are kind, you are compassionate- you feel for me. I asked around, and they told me only good things about you. Every word of recommendation made my heart so excited! He chose ME!!! He did! And the sweet words kept pouring out. I sat down and thought about it… they all can’t be wrong! They all think you are great! So why does he want to make a bride of me?

I just wonder if you are sure. It’s you I am worried about. I am finding it difficult to accept that someone as great as you would love someone so messy. What if I wake up and have that morning breath? My hair in a mess, a silly look on my face, and I’m not the pleasant sight you beheld the night before. What if I let you in and you see my scars, the parts of me that I find so difficult to accept. Will you still call me beautiful? When my world comes crushing down at 2 am and I’m crying, snort and all, will you still pull me in and call me yours?

And you replied:

“You ARE the one. I don’t see any flaws in you. You are perfect in my eyes, and the mistakes of
yesterday are long forgotten. You are beautiful to me. We are going to the future, and we will make it beautiful. Let go of the past and all the hurt that comes with it. Empty your cup of guilt and bitterness, and let’s fill it with better days.

A thousand years ago, I left my home in glory, and I came down here, for you. I lived as an
ordinary man, so I can feel what you feel. I know how it feels to hurt, to lose, to be forgotten, to be betrayed… I did it for you. They mocked me and whipped me, and I could have said no, but my love for you is too great. I gave my life FOR YOU. You were on my mind the whole while. The blood I spilled on
that day covers all your sins. There is no point in recalling and dwelling on yesterday’s past. You are PERFECT, because of that blood. There is nothing you can say that can make me change my love for you.

So, yes, I am sure. You are my bride. The question is, are you willing to come away with me?”

-Isaiah 53: 4-5: Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.

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