How to be Unhappy in 5 Easy Steps:

1. Compare your life with your neighbor’s, your friends, classmates and right about anyone you meet. They have a new car? Quick! You must get one better than that! If you can’t, be sure to whine about how your life sucks and how “good things don’t happen to good people”.
2. Surround yourself with people that do nothing but make you feel bad about yourself and use you. Also, choose friends that talk about other people all day. How else will you hear the latest gossip? Who doesn’t want to feel better about themself by bringing other people down? Nothing bonds friends like gossip! And it’s not like these very same friends will talk about you behind your back! They are your ‘squaaaa’ for a reason! They TOTALLY keep the stories you tell them about yourself between you two.
3. Be sure to only pray when you need something. Do you REALLY have to pray every day? Is it necessary to have some time and just read His Word and tell Him how grateful you are? For what? It’s OK, God understands you’re such a busy person! Times are hard! You need to hustle! Don’t forget to complain when you don’t get what you asked for! And about your eternal destination: “tikaziwonela konko!” (“We’ll see when we get there!”)
4. Live beyond your means. If you can’t afford something, be sure to borrow money you can’t return. You need to live a comfortable, luxurious life even if your income won’t allow it. Tomorrow will sort itself out. Easy.
5. Marry the wrong partner. This is probably the easiest, quickest way to be unhappy.
Have a happy unhappy life ☺

Posted in Lists, Random Ramblings.


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