My favourite flowers are roses – yes, the red ones
Old couples make me so happy, and young love makes me think,
“Dear future husband, what’s taking you so long?
I want to have adventures with you too!
Don’t you think you have tested my patience enough?”
And smiling babies with a cool afro, and cute baby hairs give me baby fever.
It’s tempting to say my favourite flowers are some flowers I can’t even pronounce
Or that I find love boring and sappy
But I don’t. And I don’t want to lie.
I am a cliché.

I’ve heard people say, “I used to like that song
Then everyone started liking it, so I stopped.”
I still don’t understand how a song loses its value
Just because the next person is listening to it too.
Even if it was overplayed – my theory is, you never really loved it in the first place.
Anyway. You know that “My Tomorrow Must Be Greater Than Today” song?
It got soooo popular
Everyone was singing it at some point.
I still jam to it. It gives me so much hope and I believe in it.

I’m such a cliché.

“Me Before You”? “The Fault in Our Stars”? “A Thousand Splendid Suns”? 
Yup, I totally cried and I’m no longer ashamed of admitting it.
SPOILER ALERT! (Even though I’m sure the whole world already knows the ending of these books)
Sad endings make me emotional
Worse still, I read those books when I was binge-reading anything to do with death
I wanted anything with a sad ending because I thought happy endings were boring
Only to find myself hoping the book would have a “happily ever after” anyway.
Ugh!
Why do writers play with our emotions like that?
I was totally rooting for the protagonists!

I am a cliché because I actually quit my job to do the things I love and to volunteer
“Oh goodness, there’s another one of those girls – thinking they can change the world.”
Maybe I can’t. Maybe I won’t. Or maybe I’ll only change one life
And that’s OK. I’ll still consider myself lucky
Cheesy quotes about happiness, self-love and purpose?
Those are right up my street
Heck, I use them to caption pictures on Instagram
And I totally feel pumped after watching motivational videos
Personal development books fuel me
I am a cliché. And I love it.

You should too.
If you ever feel ‘cheap’ or ‘ordinary’ for liking what thousands of other people like
Shake yourself.
Tell yourself it’s OK to enjoy things everyone else is enjoying. Don’t try too hard to look cool by being different.
I don’t mean be a people-pleaser
Or a follow-the-crowd kinda person
I mean, have your own principles
But for Pete’s sake
If you genuinely enjoy something
Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it just because they think it’s cliché.

When we moved back to Malawi some years past, I remember my parents telling us we were going to be living in the house they had been building. We were excited to move into our own home, something we had looked forward to for years… until I remembered that the house wasn’t done. The house had no floor, no ceiling, few doors, no fence, and it wasn’t painted. It was a ridiculous idea.

“The house will finish quicker when we move in,” they said (a lot of people tell themselves this comforting lie lol). We did move in, but the house took ages. Our clothes were kept in sack bags because it was so dusty and we had no closets. When we had to sweep, we had to sprinkle water all over the floor before we started, otherwise we would be covered in dust by the time we’re finished. Our bathroom door and was my chitenje (cloth). Then there were the old curtains that we hung using strings and pegs, and the driveway that would turn slippery during the rainy season. Some days, we had to ask our neighbour if we could park our car in their driveway because it was impassable.

Then there was the veranda. During summer, the house would turn into an oven because there was no ceiling yet, so we would usually spend e time there. The veranda too was far from done. It needed flooring, rails and paint. But we loved it there. It had a good view and that Zomba Mountain breeze cooled us off. When the day started, my family would lodge on the veranda. Everyone had a spot there. We didn’t even have chairs then, so we sat on a nkeka (mat) and we would spend time together. When it was time for our meal, we would eat on the veranda, and chat away, sometimes till very late hours. I have very fond memories of those ‘veranda’ days.

On the veranda one afternoon

Now, the house is done and I am very proud of my parents because they have been through the most to finish it. Their dream came true. The veranda is still there. But now, it’s not the same. The house is cool enough to stay inside during summer so we don’t lodge on the veranda like we did back then. My sisters moved out and work somewhere else. My brother is hardly home. My other sister is usually at school. We all just grew up and it’s not a full house anymore.

But life was happening while we were waiting for the house to be done. Although the goal was for us to live in a finished house, life didn’t stop. Life was passing us by and I didn’t know it then. I usually thought, “life will be more enjoyable when we start living in a complete house.” But in between finishing the house, Charity, Honest and I were cleaning the dishes outside together because we had no sink. Mum and I were cooking outside on the mbaula because we had no cooker, and dad and I were walking to the road together because the car was parked elsewhere. Life was happening then and memories were being made.

Since last year, I took it upon myself to pursue the things I am passionate about (which I explained better here). At first, I thought it was going to be an easy ride with life going my way: rainbows appearing in the blue sky and birds joining me in a happy chorus early in the morning; but it’s been crazy! I mean, I knew the world wouldn’t understand and it wasn’t going to be easy, but I honestly didn’t expect this kind of crazy! It’s been life giving me lessons on patience, pulling up my socks and being content.

For a while, I have been obsessed with reaching milestones I have set for myself. But I could see myself slowly getting uptight as I postponed my joy till I reached my goal. It’s taken me a while to tell myself to slow down, and enjoy the journey too. I’ve noticed that a lot of us think true happiness will come when we get that money, that qualification, that job or finish that project. Yes, there will be happiness (victory tastes sweet y’all!) but do we really want to go through life waiting to be truly happy ONLY when we tick something off our to-do list? What about now?

So, let’s cut ourselves some slack and let our little broke, unqualified, ‘unfinished’ selves appreciate the journey to our goals. Things will work out! Make great memories and seriously,  be easy on you! Don’t let life pass you by.

–Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.

P/S: It’s been such a while since I put up a new post and I am ashamed… Saying I’ve been too busy seems like a lousy excuse, so all I’m left to do now is to apologise. I’m sorry, dear reader. I will, once again, get back to writing and putting up new content. I think you deserve that. I did finally get round to uploading my videos on my YouTube channel. Check it out :). Until next time!

-Faith xxxx

tailor-made
adj.
1 (of clothes) made by a tailor for a particular customer.
2 made or adapted for a particular purpose or person.

The other day, I went to the Bend-Down Boutique kozipepesa for some retail therapy, and as I was about to finish kusankha my shopping, I noticed skirt yapa hang’ala sold on hangers and it caught my eye. I bought it for a price I’m even ashamed of admitting here because of just how cheap it was.

When I got home, I did the usual modelling the purchased items in front of the mirror (admit it, you do it too!) and I noticed that the hanger skirt had a bigger waist than I expected. I wanted this to be a high waist skirt, so I put it aside, and decided it needed kubwenzetsa kwa atelala adjusting at the tailor’s.

The day I went to the tailor, I wanted it done ASAP, so I sat down opposite him as he adjusted it. I had never given my clothes to this tailor before, so I didn’t have much confidence in him. I made the mistake of looking at him go through the whole process, and you won’t believe how much cutting he was doing on my beloved skirt! I watched him cut more and more pieces; and to make it worse, he had that look on his face like he didn’t know what he was doing. To raise my pressure, he even said, “eish, koma ntchitoyi ndi yambiri, ndakutchajani zochepatu.” “this skirt is harder than I expected. I should have charged you more.”

Charge more for the why? This guy was ruining my skirt!!! The skirt looked like rags, the elastic band hanging in his hands, threads everywhere. I knew when I would try it, it would be too tight because of the many times he kept cutting the elastic band. I couldn’t watch anymore. I rose up, muttered something about coming back in a few minutes and went somewhere else before I witnessed the disaster unfold before my very eyes.

After some time, I came back and he was done. I went inside the shop and tried the skirt. I couldn’t believe it! The skirt was PERFECT!

It wasn’t too tight, didn’t even show any signs of being under the needle and it felt brand new! Just my size!

Top and jacket: thrifted.

That little experience humbled me. It taught me something that I usually do, which is PANIC before I see the end result. It’s been the same way in my spiritual life. I panic before I see the results of the work the Creator is doing in me and in my life. A lot of times, I look at what a mess my life seems to be, how disorganised it looks and how nothing makes sense. Sometimes, it feels like all God is doing is CUTTING too much… I find it hard to TRUST that God knows EXACTLY what He is doing.

I believe the work He is doing in us is great. At the end of the day, no matter how many fiery trials we will go through, we will come out BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT and EXACTLY as He planned, for the purpose He has chosen us for. The little rags that your life seems to be at present – He will mend and you will be AMAZED with the result.

Take your burdens to the best tailor there is, and watch how beautiful He will make your life. You just need to trust Him. There is no such thing as ‘too much work’ with Him, and even better, it’s totally FREE! I’m speaking this to you, and to me as well: everything is going to be FINE. Breathe.

Shoes: George

Handbag: got it from one of the shops behind the Zomba Airtel shop, near Shoprite

Remember to let go and let God 🙂 xx

When I was still a student at Chancellor College, my hostel then was in Chikanda. Behind our hostel was a shop where guys (mostly Chancellor College students) usually met to socialize; sometimes smoke and drink cheap booze. When the guys sat there, I was terrified of going anywhere near the shop. They would stare. I mean, they would STARE. And you actually knew they were talking about you behind your back. Sometimes even in your face. And it made us girls feel powerless. There was nothing we could do.

Once, a guy called me, “eeeh, iwe! Ndufuna phone number yako!” (I want your phone number!). I said no. He asked me more questions, like “why not?” I didn’t respond. I kept walking. The catcaller went on to insult me… From my legs right up to my head, till I entered the gate to the hostel. It was so demeaning. There were loads of people passing by, and there was silence as the guy went on to embarass me, on top of his voice. Why? Because I didn’t give him my number.

A certain day, I was having a chat with someone and somehow, we ended up on the topic of catcalling. I told them that I’m catcalled every time I go in town, especially when I go into the market. They were so shocked. They couldn’t believe that was something I go through almost everyday. They asked, “even with the long dresses you wear?”
“Yes, even with the long dresses I wear,” I said.

Catcalling is NOT a compliment. Don’t tell us we should learn how to “take a compliment”. It’s embarrassing, and all it does is terrify us. It usually has nothing to do with what a girl is wearing. I’m sure people who know me know my skirts and dresses sweep the ground. But still, a random man in the market (who I’m sure has a wife and kids at home) will try to hit on me, and when I don’t respond, he will go on to use as many profane words as he can, to show his discontentment.

My dear friends, many of you have baby boys. Congratulations. They are handsome babies. Do us a favour, please. Teach them that NO means NO. Teach them to respect everyone. Tell them not to harass girls. Tell them to have self-control. Imagine raising a boy who ends up insulting women when they don’t get their way? Tragic. And you guys can do better than spending your time catcalling girls. Fix up!
#NoMeansNo #RespectUs #RespectYourself

I recently watched a documentary which looked into elephant poaching in Mozambique, and how the illegal trading of ivory is likely to make elephants extinct if no sustainable intervention is found in five years. It was sad, to say the least. The presenter/researcher/prober of the show (from a first world country) went around, trying to come to the bottom of the problem; from government agencies, judges to game rangers. Finally, he went to the people in the villages and asked them why they had a problem with the elephants.

A group of men (whether they were just local elites is a whole other question) clearly explained to our beloved presenter that the elephants go into their fields and stamp on their maize. Sometimes, the elephants actually kill people and they were more of a nuisance to the locals. They said that was why they didn’t mind killing the animals and selling them off to some Chinese businessmen who wanted the ivory to use for whatever it is they use it for. After they clearly explained this, the presenter looked straight into the camera, and I kid you not, shook his head, and said, “I just don’t understand why anyone would kill these beautiful creatures.” *cue sad tune as video pans out*

During my undergrad, there was a course I loved so deeply called Rural Development. In each and every topic, the concept of participatory development and decentralisation could not be over emphasized. In short, it’s letting the target beneficiaries have a say in the intervention you intend to bring and letting them take some kind of control so they have ownership. We looked at so many cases where programs failed because the people were not consulted, whether before, during or after the program was implemented. After all, it’s for them, it’s only logical to consult them.

To be fair, our beloved presenter did consult the locals, but what surprised me was how he totally disregarded their views, in very few minutes and I couldn’t help but think that this is one of the main reasons external interventions fail. Here is a beautiful creature on the verge of extinction, and you just got very vital information from the locals (very important participant in this problem too!), and you go right ahead and ignore their say.

I know town folk are educated, and NGO’s, especially from the West, may come into Africa with a feeling that firstly, they know our problem; secondly, they know the solution to our problem and thirdly, they know how to address them. But there must be careful evaluation before programs are implemented. One of my favourite phrases from a book we used in Rural Development is “a peasant is a rational being”. They don’t just behave in the way they do just for just. They are actually using reason and logic to come to their decisions, based on the information and resources they have. In other words, they are not stupid. Usually, the problems that external agents would like to solve for the locals is not even a priority to them. For instance, our dear neighbours were worried about their lives and their maize field, while the presenter is worried about something that is (loosely said) a luxury to them.

All in all, I was sad that we humans are yet again, destroying the environment and mercilessly killing animals. There is desperate need for civic education in our communities. At the same time, I felt for the locals who were worried about their bellies and their loved ones. I know designing and implementing interventions is more complex than I’m putting it, but if a solution is to be found, the locals MUST be consulted AND most importantly, their views must not be disregarded.

*video pans out*

*credits roll*

The weeks leading up to my 25^th year were the hardest for me. It was like someone had just dropped a tonne of bricks (lol) on me. I started to feel really old, and anxiety kicked in. This time, it wasn’t necessarily “what have you even achieved, Fai?” but, “wow, time is going by so fast and I’m taking so long to do the things I want.” Because unlike other times, I actually know where I am heading, but I’ve been facing so many obstacles.

My 25^th birthday was a simple, yet great birthday (thank you so much, guys!). For one, I realised just how much I love my comfort and sleep when my sisters woke me up from my regular Sunday afternoon nap to go out for the birthday meal, and I said, in the sleepiest voice you can ever imagine, “please leave me alone I just wanna sleep.” Then I remembered all this was for me, and I woke up with a start, and quickly dressed up. I found my siblings patiently waiting for me in the car. If that doesn’t confirm my love for sleep, then I don’t know what will.

Birthday meal with the family

Anyway, it’s only right to write about the lessons I have learnt leading up to a quarter of a century. But this time, it won’t be what I have learnt, but more of what I AM learning. When you get older, you start to realise how much you don’t know, no matter how knowledgeable you think you are.

1. On my birthday, I received a message from an older lady from Florida, who saw my posts on a modesty group. She just randomly started telling me how much she liked my posts. This lady was more like a fairy godmother to be honest… I thanked her, then just blurted out that I’ve actually been feeling anxious. She said, “wow, 25 is the perfect age! There’s so much potential in your future!” And I was there like, “you know what? I kept thinking about my past and ‘should have’ and ‘could have’s’ have totally clouded my thoughts. She was such a comfort to me and gave some really awesome advice. Then she disappeared (I’m telling y’all… fairy godmother stuff, this). So what am I learning? To drive while looking where I am going, which is FORWARD. Whatever happened in my past is gone. I can’t dwell on it. If I keep looking in the rear-view mirror, I will crash.
2. Just go ahead and do the thing. When I told my parents that I wasn’t looking for formal employment anymore, they were supportive; but first, they were worried. And I understand why they were worried. Heck, I was worried too! But I just went ahead and started working on my projects, and came up to them when I needed some support somewhere when I was feeling stuck, or when I was even done. These days, I just update them on the progress of what I am doing instead of first sitting them down and telling them what I will do. At first I liked doing this, and my dad said, “you know what Faith, we are not even listening. Just go ahead and do what you want to do. We want action.” That made me realise how much time we sometimes waste on planning, instead of just starting. So even when you don’t really feel inspired and ready, just start. If you have the idea, you are already many steps ahead. I won’t lie and say that I am not a victim of the awful disease called procrastination. Like I said, this is something I am learning.
3. Love is corrective. Criticism is something that we usually say we want to receive, but very few people take criticism well. For me, I know I am not the best, so at least I came to terms with it. Buuut I am very stubborn, which doesn’t stop me from pursuing something I genuinely enjoy doing. For instance, music is something I am not very good at, but man, I loooove singing. In my music circle, the people that I work with know music way more than I do. I didn’t even know how many strings a bass guitar has, let alone the difference between a violin and a viola. I get corrected over the tiniest things, and sometimes get told to do more vocal lessons. That’s OK. To me, I know someone who genuinely wants the best out of me will correct me. And no matter how hard that pill may be to swallow, I swallow it. So, go ahead and surround yourself with people who know more than you do. It’s ok to be the dumbest in your team. Just make sure you are learning.
4. Patience. Here’s something I won’t lie and say I am good at. I suck at being patient. I am the type of person that wakes up in the morning, has a to do list, and follows it religiously. Any slight change to the plan I had before I got out of bed messes me up so badly. So you can imagine how messed up I was when the plan I set out for my life went south. It took me a while to breathe, and realize I had to hand over my plan to God. Not only does he know what He is doing, He is also teaching me along the way. And this lesson on patience, I feel like I fail, and then come back to write a supplementary exam, fail that too, and now it’s a carryover course lol. But I am learning. My friend told me the other day, after I told her about some of the obstacles I am facing, she said, “if you knew as much as God knows, trust me, you’d choose the very same thing for yourself.”
5. Mothers are the real MVPs. My mum is a homemaker-she’s been one all our lives. I used to think it was an easy task, but growing up, I have learnt that she has been so good at being strong and being a fantastic multitasker. This year, my family has gone through the most when it comes to illnesses. It’s like someone in the family gets seriously ill almost every month, and mum is taking care of the patient. Because I was the oldest child around, and well, not formally employed, the lot for being mai (mother) fell on me. That’s when I knew the burden mum really goes through. It’s “Fai, tidya chani lero?” “what are we eating today?” “Fai, chakuti chatha, chofunika kugula” “this this has run out. You need to buy more” and, “Fai, kwabwela anthu.” “There’s a visitor.”  The past weeks have been comprised of this, because my  maternal grandmother is admitted in the hospital and mum is hardly around. The most hectic part is probably grocery shopping, because there’s always so much missing, but the money you have in hand isn’t enough. Once, I felt like screaming at the till in Shoprite. It’s all so stressful. Then there’s the kumunda (field) trips to thyola ndiwo. Right now, there’s bags of rice that needs kupetedwa (winnowing) and Aunt came to call me so we should go get started. Did I mention it’s so cold outside right now?

Kothyola nandolo (pigeon peas)

Mums everywhere, I appreciate you even more! You are such heroes! May your house always be tidy, may your ufa not run out anytime soon, and may your Shoprite trips be more pleasant.

And to all those who are showering me with “tivina liti?” (When are you getting married?) I have one simple answer. On the afternoon of my birthday, my sister and I witnessed a couple fighting outside the gate of our home (yes, a physical fight). They only stopped when we told them we were going to call the police on them. That, to me, was a reality check. As much as y’all want to vina (dance), I do not want an unhappy marriage. So, let me take my time, preparing and praying. Muzavina. You’ll dance. Don’t give me phuma kaye (pressure).

Here’s to getting older, wiser, and realising we will never stop learning.

Last day as a 24 year old. Dress: tailor made (bought the jean material in DAPP, curtains section).

Shoes: Legit. Top: New Look.

Hello loves!
It’s been a while since I posted modest outfits. No, I haven’t stopped modesty blogging… Two reasons:

1.  I usually forget to take pictures of my outfit(s) because I’m almost always in a hurry because I’m usually late wherever I’m going (I need to work on my punctuality).
2. I haven’t been going out much and the outfits haven’t been blogging-about worthy lol.

OK, now that that’s out of the way… It’s winter here in Malawi at the moment, which is really autumn for other countries. When it’s very very cold here, it’s about 12°C (I know, I know, pffft, how’s that winter?). So we don’t get to brace ourselves for snow and cover our bodies with 4 layers.

Anyway, this post is about coats. Here is a quick guide to types of coats:

I’m sure you know how much I love red and black by now. I find black so easy to match with. I usually wear a coat full of colour with a black or monochrome skirt/dress. I am really not into colour blocking.

Let’s just get one other thing out of the way: the way my bank account is currently set up, I could never afford these coats brand new. These were all thrifted either Mponda Bwino or mu ma hanger in town. OK, as you were…

I should apologize for that dirty mirror 🙈

Only thing I really hate about thrifted coats is how they rarely come with their belt, or have a button or two missing. But that doesn’t stop me, as long as you take your time in selecting the coat before parting with your hard earned cash. I added a belt to this coat as well as the one below:

When it comes to wearing skirts with boots, I prefer a midi skirt to a maxi dress. This little guide helps me:

I would have added flat shoes to the midi skirt too, though.

Let me finish this post by blessing you with a picture of a coat I fell in love with.

Would you look at this beauty 😍😍

Thank you for stopping by! Keep warm! X

P/S: I hope showing you the things I thrift and how I mix them tells you that you don’t need so much money to wear modestly. That’s the message I’ve been trying to get across 🙂 x

I think if there’s something modern man has found so easy to do, is to type “thoughts and prayers” and hit “send”. “Thoughts and prayers” to console a friend who’s loved one has gone on. “Thoughts and prayers” to a sick friend. “Thoughts and prayers” when disaster strikes a certain country. Thoughts and prayers are very good things, don’t get me wrong, but where is the actual love? Like, if your friend told you they will be going to bed hungry that day, I’m sure some of y’all would stand afar and go, “yoooo, that’s rough!! Thoughts and prayers, my guy” and go on your way, maybe even munching on some food as you match off. Like your friend akhuta mau anuwo (will feed on your words). Why? Because the phrase “thoughts and prayers” is so easy to say/type.

You know what? Next time, actually visit your friend and console them. Actually check on them. Help someone in need. Maybe visit and care for your sick friend. You don’t even need to carry gifts and flowers; your presence will matter to them especially if you go there to cheer them up and make them forget about their present state (trust me, I’ve been a patient too many times, it does wonders). Our “thoughts and prayers” don’t mean jack when there’s something we can actually do.

While you’re at it, next time while blessing your food, instead of just saying “apatseni akuchisowa chakudyachi” (“give to those who are lacking food“), if you are able, actually go to the streets and feed the hungry. Every little counts. Thoughts and prayers are good, but not good enough if you can actually do something about it. The saying “action speaks louder than words” is REAL.

The journey to the production of this EP started a really long time back. 2016 to be precise. After I recorded my debut album, I didn’t want to record music anymore. Why? Because I felt that the reason why I was recording was done and dusted, which was to record the special songs I had sung in church. I remember mid-2016, my best friend and I were going through some rough time that made us question the direction of our lives and they just happened to say to me so confidently, “you’re going to record more music”. I laughed and brushed them off. Music wasn’t something I really wanted to get into. Just something I did during a holiday in uni. And the music business in Malawi is not something you get into to make money. I wasn’t keen on the idea to be honest.

I continued with my undergrad, went on to graduate and searched for a job to do with Social Science. In July, 2017, I got a job as a research assistant and I went on to work in Lilongwe for about 4 months. While I was in Lilongwe, I missed singing. I missed it so much, I would record minute acapella covers using my phone and post them on social media; I would sing in the morning before the car came to pick us up to go to the field. I sung when we were back from the field, before bed. Joan (my roommate and teammate) and I were a match made in heaven. She loved to hear me sing. She said it helped her fall asleep. So you can imagine how much noise I was making every night.

Early in the morning before Lilongwe dust did it’s thing

Team about to head to the field

As time went by, I started to fall ill often. But because I had nothing else to do back home, I forced myself to work. I was admitted over 3 times, was on so many doses and had to endure the pain of countless needles. Eventually, I fell so ill that I would wake up in the middle of night screaming, because my sides hurt. I quit my job and came back home, in Zomba.

It turns out I had a bad case of pneumonia and because I had delayed in seeking the right medical attention, half of my right lung was almost gone. I was admitted again, and battled for life for over a fortnight. As I was laying in hospital, coughing and gasping for breath, I wished I had recorded music. I wish I had done what I really love. I prayed to God and told him if I came out of the hospital alive, I would go and record music. By the grace of God, I recovered. And soon as I was back on my feet, my brother, King David, took me to a studio here in Zomba that had just recently opened.

The day I got discharged

I told my parents, “I’m not hunting for a job anymore. I want to record music.” I’m so glad God gave me very understanding parents. They told me to go ahead and supported me every mile of the way. From borrowing their car to go to the studio, eating their food when we have a practice session here at home, to being the first critics when the songs were done. They didn’t nag me to get a job and were kind enough to share me ndalama yogulila bundle ya pa net (money to buy internet bundles). It hasn’t been easy, but I have done a lot of learning through this little project.

Peace of Loving You track list:

Known- I loved the vocals in this song. It started as a little experiment to see whether I can actually sing because I was so intimidated by the vocals at first. Tauren Wells did an absolutely beautiful job with this one. This song reminds me of how far I have come in my Christian journey, how He picked me up and how He still loves even though I go astray here and there. I truly can’t explain why he gives me so much!

Peace of Loving You- This was the first song Chipiliro suggested we record. Initially, we were just gonna record one song. I have sung this song a couple of times in church. Many people asked me to record it, and well, here it is guys. This is actually my favourite track in the EP, because of the struggles I went through to come up with this EP. I was usually frustrated, discouraged and several times, I wanted to throw the whole EP away. But in whatever I was going through, my God managed to help me through and he gave me so much peace just when I needed it. I don’t think there could quite possibly be a better friend, Saviour and Lord like Jesus Christ. And with my final breath, I want to praise Him. Always and Forever.

Oh what a friend- the way I came to include this track is odd. It came to me after a day in the field, dragging my dusty feet in the room, trying to heat water to tidy up. I started singing the song and although I had heard it so many times (actually, since my childhood), I fell in love. Then I forgot about it. One day, while Enoch and I were ‘jamming’ at my grandmother’s house, I started to sing this song. I loved how his guitar sounded, and we both just agreed, “Yup, this is going in the EP”.

Yimbirani Chikondi cha Yesu/When We All Get to Heaven- This song also came in the craziest way. We were on our way to the field and the cars were being refuelled at Kaunda Road Puma Filling Station. I went and sat on the curb and it was windy that day. I’m sure this song was carried to me by the wind lol, because I started to sing it and tried to use the Chichewa tune on the English version. It worked! And immediately, I wanted to record it! I even tried it on the acapella app and I loved the sound. Enoch did a great job with the guitar in this one. I remember him saying he would work on it that night, and then we went straight to record it the next day.

Here are some pictures of some studio sessions at ICP studio in Mulunguzi:

One of our very first sessions. Enoch Mlenga on the guitar and Chipiliro Chambamba, the pianist.

Me taking selfies while Dean did all the hard work

Me again, taking selfies while Enoch is doing za serious

A biiig shout out to Dean Dembo and Emmanuel Phiri who produced this EP. These guys were so patient with us, and were very accommodating of our ideas.  I can say with my whole heart, I had so much fun recording these songs and I made this place my home.

Another person that helped me a lot along the way is Elijah Saidi, who made the cover art and all the countdown posters. There was a day that I sat down and actually saw the amount of work that goes into graphic designing, I was so drained at the end of the day! I’m so grateful for the amazing work you did, Elijah.

I was actually really tired here. Graphic design is too much work

I pray that you may be blessed with these songs. I wish I recorded more, but time, money and other factors beyond my control did not allow me to do so. I even wish I gave this EP away for free, but I have to pay for the studio, transport and many other costs I incurred along the way. I want to assure you that the money I make off selling my songs is reinvested into making more music. It is my goal to make beautiful, high quality music, and my ultimate goal is to sing His bride a song and bring all the glory to His name.

This EP is me fulfilling the promise I made on that hospital bed. This is a testimony of how good God has been to me. This is me saying THANK YOU! For this chance to do what I absolutely love. For life. For His grace. And for the assurance that I will get to heaven and SING, SING AND SIIIING! I cannot wait!

Here’s to recording more songs for the glory of the King!

May you be blessed.

P/S: You can send me a message if you would like a copy of the EP, or purchase it here. Register, then add the 4 songs to cart.

–Well, I tell you, you—you certainly are blessed with some real good singing. I like good singing. I just love real good singing. I’ve always said, when I get to Heaven I want to get where they’re singing, and listen. I never could get my fill of singing. You know, singing gives courage. You know that, don’t you? The soldiers, when they’re going to battle, you know what they do? They play music and sing, and things to give them courage. 

65-1031A – Leadership. Rev. William Marrion Branham

I usually don’t do a month catch up, or something regular to talk about how my life is going (because I don’t want to commit to something I won’t follow through. I also don’t have an exciting life to keep that running), but hey, I think I need to sit down, breathe, and talk about this year so far.

Things have been confusing, painfully slow, difficult and wow, I just sat down recently and thought, “God trusts me too much with these tests.” The dreams I’ve been trying to chase seem so empty, far-fetched and bleak. Everything seems to be going the other way. The plans I had in my head and what is actually happening on the ground are just two extremely different things and that just demotivates me further. Most of my days comprise me of going where the wind is blowing. I feel like I’m not in control of my life, and I am like a leaf being tossed in a wild storm.

Then come the sad times, when all I do is sit and think about how useless I am feeling because time is going by so fast and I don’t seem to have accomplished much (no, the solution isn’t simply, “stop being sad”). Lately, I have seen myself get to a place I have been before, a dark dark place I have been running from since my teenage years where I feel so anxious, depressed and well, hopeless. Getting out of bed seems like such a huge task and eating is forced on me by my close friends. I am always feeling tired, I can hardly focus and eventually, I miss out on important deadlines. I just sigh and say, “Mulungu, mubwela liti? Dziko latopetsa ili.”

Yesterday morning was a bit different for me. As I was praying, I focused my prayer on being thankful: for life, for how far He has taken me, for my beautiful family and friends; and most importantly, for the challenges that I am facing that are making me a better Christian. I got to a place where I just laid everything on the table, and said, “God, I need you. I can’t seem to figure things out” and I poured my heart out. For one, I saw that there’s so much to be grateful for that the sadness blinded me to. I also felt such a sense of peace after that, and the strength to complete tasks I’ve been putting off for too long. If there’s one thing that I am holding on to, it’s that God is not blind to my problems and that every prayer I’ve prayed, He has heard. I will simply choose to trust in Him.

I wish I was writing this in a much much better place, but I am not. I don’t want to pretend to be someone who has it all together because I am still fighting battles. And I know that I am not alone. So this post is for anyone else feeling stuck, and the pressure from chasing your wild dreams has left you feeling drained. This is for you who also desperately needs grace to stay afloat. Remember that when something big is about to happen in your life, the devil tries all he can to get in the way. But here’s a spoiler: We. Will. Get. Through. This.

I don’t know how. I don’t know when. But hold on. When you hit rock bottom, the only other place you can head is up. I am proud of you for being strong, for being the miracle that you are, and for getting up and showing up when all you feel inside is heaviness-that is amazing! You are AMAZING! I am already proud of what you are about to accomplish and the testimony that will come out of it. Here’s to you and all your awesomeness!

All my love,

Fellow Rock-Bottom-But-On-Our-Way-To-A-Breakthrough

P/S: Here’s a quote someone sent me via Instagram that lifted me up:

“Maybe He let this slump come, call, come in here, just to find out what you’ll do. That’s the way He does it, to prove your faith, see what you’ll do. Run away? Don’t the Bible say, “All things will work together for good to them that love Him”?” William Marrion Branham, 63-1130E Go Awake Jesus