Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you died? If you think too much like me, then you probably even imagined your funeral.
I have. A lot of times.
Especially when I’ve collapsed, or fallen ill. Recently I got so ill I told mum I was going to die. But she replied, calmly as ever, “You’re not going to die, Fai,” and she patted me on the back, but I had already thought as far as my funeral. My mind travels so fast! I don’t know how she knew I would be well (I was in serious pain) because a few days later, I was back on my feet.

Once I thought, “so this furniture in the living room will be moved and I’ll have to lay here?” Then I shook the feeling away.
Another time, I wondered where all my clothes would go. My notepad has some funny and questionable doodles, maybe I should tear those pages away. What about my laptop? It has a password only I know. What would happen? Then I mentally scorn myself and tell my brain to produce happy thoughts instead.

I have stumbled across some Facebook accounts of people that passed on. Some have wall posts from grieving friends and family. I remember one very vividly; the father posted something on the wall of his beloved daughter almost everyday. It made my heart break. I dropped some tears. Some friends post grieving messages and sometimes happy memories on their wall. It makes me so sad. But I also noticed that as time goes by, the wall posts start to reduce. Once a week. Once a month. Then maybe after a loooong while.
Maybe they have finally accepted it. It kind of makes me glad, to see they are beginning to accept the loss of their beloved friend or family member. But sometimes I can’t help but think, “maybe they are forgotten now.”

I think the silliest reason why I would think of death was when I was a kid. When my mum had given me a good whopping, I would think, “I hope I die so she can miss me.” But I didn’t die. I just cried and played zawana a few hours later, and forgot about it. Recently, the same kind of thought came to my mind after I had a fight with a close friend. I felt I was right and they did me wrong. I thought, “I hope I die so they can miss me.”
I mentally slapped myself. But I laughed a little also. I didn’t think those childish thoughts would still follow me.

I know people forget you eventually, but I, at least, want to be remembered for leaving an impact on someone’s life… Maybe influenced them to be a better version of themselves. Hopefully some wrong I did them doesn’t overshadow the good I did. I hope I’m remembered because of the laughter I brought into their life. Or maybe my loudness. But the happy type. Maybe my singing? I don’t know… something good, at least. I don’t think anyone wants to be remembered for their bad.

Anyway. After all is said and done, I just want one person to be pleased with me, that’s God. What matters most is your eternal destination. All of this is temporary. Your clothes won’t matter. Your hairstyle, your gorgeous shoes, all your wealth: all useless.

My ultimate goal is to hear Him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Let me leave my favourite quote right here so you can ponder on it:

“Be conscious of your littleness. Who are you? Stick your finger in a bucket of water and pull it out, and find the hole you put your finger in. Then say, “That was me.” You’re nothing. You’ll not be missed after, little while after you’re gone. They have a funeral procession out here, and that’s all. But your influence will live on, and on, and on.” 63-0112 – Influence. Rev. William Marrion Branham.

P/S: Said close friend and I made up a few hours later. I played some game on my phone and forgot about everything.

The news that Dr Richard Mussa has passed on is very very hard to believe. Surely, this is a mistake? I just bumped into him in town the other day! He was alive and well, he looked very healthy. What was this? It took me so long to accept it; heck, I don’t even think I have accepted it yet, to be honest.
So who was Dr Richard Mussa? He was the man I feared most when going into third year; frankly, the reason I wanted to major Sociology instead of Economics. Most Chancellor College students knew Dr Mussa. Social Science students talked about him a lot, even those from other programs. His name carried fear. Before I even met him, I was already scared.

“You think this stuff is hard? Kuli Mussa PhD uku!” they would say.
Fear. Panic. 

But I overcame it anyway. I registered to major economics and took Quantitative Methods after some people talked the fear out of me. ECO 314. Dr Mussa’s first class involved him informing us that he knew people say he is tough. 

“But it’s the course, not me. Ask any student anywhere in the world that has ever taken Quantitative Methods.”

I remember putting some motivational quote on the first page of my hard cover. I would look at that when I’m feeling like the dumbest kid in that Quants class, and I would feel that way every day. I remember I would sit in front, sandwiched by two genius girls, Temwa and Precious. And I would sit there and take down everything he would write on the board. “Maybe I’ll understand when I’m studying this later”, I would encourage myself. Nope. Didn’t understand a thing still.

Quants was that course that required your full attention and dedication. It was tough. And Dr Mussa didn’t baby us. His tests were so hard for me, I didn’t understand the concepts and I was honestly just going with the flow. I heavily relied on ‘madis’ and my prayers were always, “Dear God make this year go by so fast, I’m tired.” But my third year was so long. The days dragged. The two hours of Quants on Monday and Thursday felt like four. No wonder I was almost always on the forefront to ask for a break.

The first time I actually sat down to talk to Dr Mussa was when I miserably failed his first test. I went into his office, almost in tears. I told him how much I’m failing and how I don’t understand a single thing, even though I’m trying with all my might. Here is the thing with Dr Mussa: he was a very very good motivational speaker. He told me it was fear that was holding me back and that if I only remove it, I will be fine. I tell you, I went out of his office that day feeling like I could fly. I was pumped. He made me feel like I was the greatest, and that all I had to do was learn from the mistakes I made prior to this test.
Then it happened again. I failed test 2. I didn’t even get it. I was so mad. I did what he told me to do. I worked hard for this paper! I was so mad! The man who formed this test paper wasn’t the same man I met in his office few weeks back. What was this? This was a different Dr Mussa!! 

Did I mention that Dr Mussa did not baby us?
And that he sometimes told us he would dream the next set of questions for our tests?
Who dreams of questions to set for third year’s in a course as hard as Quantitative Methods?

Dr Mussa did not baby us. He often told us that he wanted us to be the same level as Harvard students. Harvard, you guys! He said he wanted us to be brilliant economists.

The next time I went into his office was after we reopened for our second semester. He was going to lecture us on Quantitative Methods II. I told him I had failed his exam and had to write a supplementary exam. I told him how this was my first ever supp and I was worried I would fail this semester again. He pulled out his laptop and checked my results. He said I did well towards the end. He gave me another great talk. People talk of a certain kind of mouse that bites it’s victims while they’re asleep, and it blows on the wound and it soothes so much that the victim does not feel the sting… that was what Dr Mussa did. He was different from the man who would form those exam questions. Here he was, blowing on my stinging wound again.

But I learnt a lot from Dr Mussa. I learnt hard work. I learnt that things do not come easy. I learnt how to discipline myself, how to humble myself and work with the geniuses to pass the course. I learnt a lot about team work. I also learnt I could achieve anything, if I put away the fear first. My second semester was waaay better than my first, and I know it was because I actually did what he advised me to do.

In Sociology, we used one of his works to talk about policies and planning. I loved his work. “A Dangerous Divide: The State of Inequality in Malawi.” I read this work over five times. I was impressed. I have always been obsessed with inequality gaps, and this work was very clear and eye opening. He was more than just a statistics genius; he did a lot of research for Malawi too, and at a young age! I remember how he always stressed that development plans are not the problem (we are actually very excellent at that as a nation), but the implementation. He stressed the implementation part a lot. I never forget that part.

The last time I sat down and talked to him was when I was looking for my dissertation topic. Some of the lecturers were advising me against my topic. They said they saw no gap, that someone had already written about it. I felt defeated, but I decided to talk to him anyway, just to get one last opinion. His door was always open. He would never tell you he was too busy to help. Such a humble soul. Anyway, he told me my topic was doable, and he gave me direction like where to get the data from. He was the same Dr Mussa that would leave you feeling pumped and motivated after you had failed his test. 

So here we were, in the packed Chanco coaster, on our way to his home village, Balaka. Some women behind me talk about his short illness.. about how he was almost done with the house he was building.
“It’s so huge!” they say, “Can you imagine, he won’t live in the house he’s been building all along?”
And he won’t get to see the fruits from the economists he lectured and mentored. That’s the heart breaking part.
We are at his home, sitting outside. The men are carrying his body to the grave, which is just a few meters from the house. There are sounds of weeping everywhere. I’m with Mercy, his cousin. We hold each other as we weep for this great man. His mother waves at his son and the resemblance of the hand is striking. It is almost like that of Dr Mussa. I can see him write on the board in Room B with the other hand on the pockets of his jeans.
Too soon, sir. Too soon.

– “But reducing inequality will not be a benign by-product of growth under trickle down assumptions. It will only happen as a result of deliberate joint policy efforts, which all Malawi’s government and civil society must unify behind.” From Oxfam’s report that Dr Mussa authored. 

May Dr Richard Mussa’s soul rest in eternal peace.

I took this picture while waiting for the men to return from the graveyard.

Friend tagged me in this 7 years ago on Facebook. I’ll answer it now ?

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Water
2. Last phone call: Taxi guy
3. Last text message: My friend Mercy
4. Last song you listened to: I WILL FOLLOW YOU – ANTHONY EVANS
5. Last time you cried: last night

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone: …
7. Been cheated on: …
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: …
9. Lost someone special: yes
10. Been depressed: yes
11. Been drunk and threw up: never been drunk before

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12: red
13: white
14: black

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend: no
16. Fallen out of love: no
17. Laughed until you cried: not yet
18. Met someone who changed you: no
19. Found out who your true friends were: yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you: no, too early for that???
21. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list: nooo

RANDOM:
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: 80% of them
23. How many kids do you want: Max 3
24. Do you have any pets: yes
25. Do you want to change your name: just my last ????
26. What did you do for your last birthday: travelled and met some friends, went to church and hung out with family
27. What time did you wake up today: 5am, then 7:40 am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: talking on the phone
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Heaven
30. Last time you saw your Mother: last night
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: hang on, lemme think about it
32. What are you listening to right now: sound of a fan
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes, my shift manager at McD’s!
34. Who’s getting on your nerves right now: no one
35. Most visited webpage: probably Branham.org
36. Longest Relationship: with myself ?
37. Best Online Friend: I have loads of those
38. Relationship Status: single
39. Zodiac sign: Gemini
40. Male or female: Female
44. Hair color: Black
45. Long or short: Short (& proud!!)
46. Height: 159 cms
47. Do you have a crush on someone: no
48. What do you like about yourself: I have passion (as cheesy as that sounds)
49. Piercings: nope. Just on my Saviour ??
50. Tattoos: never
51. Righty or lefty: righty

FIRSTS:
52. First surgery: don’t think I’ve had this
53. First piercing: never
54. First best friend: Neema M (hiiiieee)
55. First sport you joined: Netball back at ZPPS
56. First vacation: Boadzulu, Mangochi

RIGHT NOW:
57. Thinking about: starting the day
58. Craving: Mac n cheese
59. Eating: nun
60. Drinking: nun
61. I’m about to: finish this, pray, and go grab brekkie
62. Listening to: the fan blowing away, and birds outside the window
63. What time is it: 08:23AM

YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids: Deffo!
65. Get married: I can hardly wait!
66. Career: I dream large on this: Writer, Musician, Program Manager or M&E Officer, Researcher, Activist, and Home maker

WHICH IS BETTER:
67. Lips or eyes: depends…
68. Hugs or kisses: also, depends
69. Shorter or taller: REAAAALLLYYY depends
70. Older or Younger: again, depends
71. Romantic or spontaneous: both, please ?
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: both ?
73. Sensitive or loud: both, also
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
75. Furries or Scalies?: Curries all the way!

HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger: nope
77. Drank hard liquor: nope
78. Lost glasses/contacts: No
79. Sex on first date: nooooo
80. Broken someone’s heart: I think so
81: Had a crush on a person of your gender: never
82. Been arrested: nope
83. Turned someone down: yes
84. Cried when someone died: why not????
85. Fallen for a friend: umm lol

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: yes!!!
87. Miracles: happen every single day
88. Love at first sight: yes!!!
89. Heaven: definitely. This is what I hope for
90. Santa Claus: never
91. Kiss on the first date: noooo
92. Angels: yes! I have one watching me right now (hi!!!)

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: nope
95. Did you sing today: not yet. I sing everyday, so I’ll do so soon
96. Ever cheated on somebody: eeh
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: foundation of the world ??
98. The moment you would choose to relive: lemme think. I have loads
99. Are you afraid of falling in love: not anymore ?
100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths: nope ?

Sorry my answers were uninteresting. But I did this because I was bored, so ✌?

14 December, 2016
Babysis,
Congratulations for the gazillion time for being selected to university. I can imagine how excited you are, the anxiety… all the stories you have heard about how difficult college life can be… I feel like I am talking to me, in 2012, when I was also selected and I didn’t know what to really expect from the university experience. I am writing you this, and to that girl too, who stood where you are standing now. I am supposed to be writing my dissertation but here I am, trying to write to you before I’m an alumnus.
I have learnt so much in my time here in college. But the biggest lesson I’ve learnt is that God is faithful and he always keeps his promises. If he has trusted you enough to bring you to the Red Sea, HE WILL BRING YOU THROUGH IT. How he will do it is none of your business. Your job is to trust he will get you through it. I never expected to get to where I am today… heck, I thought those 20% MAT 122 grades I got would get me weeded! If I can do it, baby girl, don’t let anyone tell you you can’t do it!
Because I am very loud and talk way too much, here is a summary of things I learnt and would love to pass down to you:
1. Don’t ever ever ever skip church because you want to study or write an assignment. Never steal God’s time. Remember, God owns nobody. He will give you back whatever you give him, a hundredfold. Believe this.
2. Fight procrastination and laziness with all your might, especially in your first years of uni. Being a bit lazy in your fourth year is however, not entirely frowned upon (you will understand when you get where I am).
3. Don’t skip classes just because you don’t feel like going to class. Your brain will remind you of that careless behaviour while you panic in an exam room (experienced this a couple of times).
4. Don’t be an idle student. Speak up. Ask questions. If you can, make sure your course instructor knows you and has a sense of who you are. It will come in handy someday.
5. Join a club on campus. Do something. Have a passion and invest your time in it while you are still in college (there’s a club for right about any passion here on campus. If there isn’t one, start it). You will learn how to manage time, organise activities, work in a team and gain experience.
6. Attend every play, debate, art exhibition, quiz, panel discussion, concert, that you POSSIBLY can. Your soul needs it. Your mind needs it. You need it. Make memories.  
7. The library was built for a purpose. Find a comfortable studying place or two, and make those spots your home. I guarantee that your GPA will appreciate it.
8. For assignments, collect as much information as you can before you get started. Pace yourself, but don’t put it off too long.
9. Do take naps. You are human, not a machine.
10. Don’t worry about a failed grade. I know it will tear you apart, but babygirl, you are here to LEARN. This is how you LEARN.
11. If you don’t feel like studying, don’t force yourself. Quality over quantity, every time.
12. Be friends with the hardworking kids. (You’re welcome).
13. EAT. Don’t skip meals. If you’re too broke for a meal, call home and tell them. Don’t EVER keep that kind of information to yourself.
14. Always get to your exam room early so you are calm. Refrain from people who try to cram information into their head 2 minutes before the exam. Relax. You got this. If you didn’t thoroughly study a certain topic, don’t worry about that. There’s little you can do at this point.
15. Always do these three things before stepping out of your room in the morning: Pray, make your bed and check yourself in the mirror.
16. Go home and refresh whenever you can.
17. Makes friends with your classmates. You are stuck with them for the next four years. Make them your family.
18. Don’t waste time on boys. They are young and figuring out life just like you, too. Invest this time in knowing yourself. Your Prince Charming, Love of Your Life, Soulmate, Your Mtedza (or whatever silly pet name you will have for each other) is out there. Do your school first.
19. Have clear short term and long term goals. I mean, have BIG dreams. The bigger, the better. And work towards them everyday.
20. Own an umbrella and those ‘China’ plastic shoes. Don’t let the rain be a reason why you skipped class.

My list in not exhaustive and it does not mean that this is exactly what I did myself, there is a lot I wish I did better (punctuality was a big problem for me, please do better!). College for me has been a learning experience and with each year, I dropped some of the habits I brought here. I want you to do better, learn from me and have the best experience.
Lastly, as I have always told you, the beauty of college is you can be WHOEVER you want to be. Choose to be a Christian. When you come to the end of your undergrad, you will look back and thank God you chose that way. Don’t worry, God is there beside you. Just put your hand in his and breathe. You will never fail you.
I still have three more papers to study for and my dissertation isn’t going to write itself (manage your time better than I did, too). Enjoy the journey.
Love,
Your soon-to-be-a-Chanco-alumnus sister

Last week, I was by my best friend’s
home in Blantyre, and I had to return home on a Wednesday morning. Dad was also
in Blantyre and he said he would come by and pick me up early in the morning. So
I got ready and waited for him to pick me up. Within minutes, we were on our
way back to Zomba.

As we were turning Pa Kudya to get to Limbe, I told him
that I learnt of a route that would take us there faster. It was a newly
constructed road that I learnt of in my short stay there. I told him it would
take us close to five minutes to get to Limbe Market and that we would pass by
a certain technical college. He agreed and we continued our journey, as we commented on the amount of humps along the road.

I got my phone from my lap and was
busy replying to some good morning texts that I got carried away. When we got
to the ‘get to Limbe within five minutes’ turn, I looked up and dad showed no
signs of slowing down.

“This is the turn, dad!” I said.

“Nah. I think it’s still up the
road,” he said.

“Are you sure? We used that route last
time.”

Dad, in his most chilled voice said,
“no, I remember this place. We pass a primary school first. The road you’re
talking about is dusty and too bumpy.”

Okaaaay. Maybe I had it wrong this
whole time, then. I continued to text half-attentionally as we chatted away
about land, my stay in Blantyre, et cetera. We came across some beautiful
houses being built on the side of the road. He told me about the Soche Hill and
how it used to have very few houses, but with population growth, more and more
people started building up the hill. It sounded like he really knew this area
and he was sure of the direction we were taking. We came to the primary school he
mentioned and kept going. He mentioned that we would use a road just before Angelo Goveya (Angels Go There, y’all
know how us Malawians Chichewalise English words) but it wouldn’t take long to
get to Limbe.

So we kept goiiiiing. I had to ask
him if he was sure this was the route he was talking about.

“I think the turn is anywhere from
here,” he said.

I tried again.

“Dad, I don’t remember reaching this
far when we used that route. Maybe I wasn’t paying attention, but this is
taking longer than usual.”

“Wait, what did you say you pass by,
when you use that route?”

“Soche Technical College. There’s a
little valley somewhere in between. They are improving the road, it is tarred
now. It’s a really short….”

“Ooooooh. I know what you mean now!!
I’m so sorry. I understand you. I knew that route but it was so bad, so I
thought you meant one further from that turn. That one is bad too, but better.
I’m so sorry, Faith.”

Honestly, I was a little annoyed. I
felt like he didn’t even want to hear me out because he thought I didn’t know
what I was talking about. The route we took was taking toooooo long and I was
getting impatient.

“We would have arrived by now, you
know,” I displayed my annoyance.

“Yeah I know. I didn’t get you the
first time,” he said.

We reached a little trading centre,
kids running around, men and women walking all over the road and not responding
to dad’s hooting. He slowed down and rolled down the window and talked to the
first man he saw.

“Amwene,
khala ngati tasochela. Njila yaku Limbe ndi iti?” (My guy, I think we are
lost. Which way goes to Limbe?)

The man pointed down the road.

“Take the left turn, where you see
those minibuses parked, and keep going.”

“Thank you,” dad said.

“I’ve missed the turn I was talking
about somewhere.”

The road this man pointed was bumpy
and longer, very unpleasant compared to the one I suggested but we filled it
with discussions about my dissertation and the progress I have made, and we
talked about a few other things. Finally, we could see minibuses at the Limbe
market and we had reached our ‘destination’, many minutes late. All the while, I
was fighting the urge to blurt out “I TOLD YOU SO, DAD! YOU THOUGHT I DIDN’T
KNOW THIS CITY, HUH? WELL I DO! AND YOU GOT IT WRONG!” lol, you know how rare
that opportunity is; but he didn’t make it easy. For one, he had apologised for
it. I admired that a lot. I know it takes a lot for an older person to
apologise to someone younger than them, let alone a PARENT apologising to their
CHILD. Bless his heart, this man always impresses me.

There was a silence as we queued behind
slow minibuses to get to the main road.

“You know what, I have learnt not to
question these things,” he started, “I know God allowed me not to understand
you the first time around for a reason, and in my life, I have learnt to ignore
the urge to ask “Why, Lord?” and to accept things as they are.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“You never know, maybe there was an
accident the devil set for us that God was preventing us from,” he continued.

“Yeah, you are right, dad,” I said, “Maybe
around the technical college, we would have been involved in an accident.”

“Yes, but I mean, even on the road
to Zomba, there might have been an accident, or something unfortunate waiting
for us, a trap the devil laid, and God just allowed us to delay here to protect
us. In my life, I have learnt not to ask “Why” and accept things as God’s plan
that I may not know about.”

I agreed. But I felt so ashamed of
myself inside. What he said hit me so hard. Dad is really not one to ask “why?”
or to try to look back to see what could have been done, where things could
have improved or where exactly things went wrong. He just takes it all in and
moves forward with life. Some things that have happened in his life, I don’t think
I would have handled them the way he did. I hardly see my father worried or
complaining. He is always positive and letting things beyond his control be.

Me, on the other hand, I am a
control freak. I want things done this way
at such and such a time. My close
friends know how disturbed I get when things don’t go according to MY plan. It’s
almost like I have a script made at the start of my day and expect the whole
universe to go by it so things go well for me that day. I am ashamed to say,
when some things happened to me in my life, I rushed and asked God, “WHY??”

This really changed my perception on
a lot of things. On the road home, I looked at dad for a second and actually
admired him and the way he leads his life, so worry-free! There he was, humming
along to some South African gospel songs. I smiled and sincerely thanked God
for letting this man be my father. I have learnt a lot from him. I am learning
to let things beyond my control go, and to let God take control and do however
he pleases. I know he is watching over me and making sure I am okay, and I
thank him for that wrong route we took. I have taken so many wrong routes in my
life, myself! And I would question it, and worry if I would even reach my destination. 

Well, Dad and I arrived home very safely, and I would like to think that is how God intends to lead my life, too.

– Psalm 37:23- The steps
of a [good] man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.

–Train your mind to see the good in
everything.

–The
Christian has not one worry in the world. They should be the most freest,
happiest people in all the world. ‘Cause there’s nothing… You can’t lose. And
all things work together for good to them that love God. So how can we lose?
There’s just nothing to lose, is there? We’re just anchored away in Jesus
Christ, going home to glory, having a good time while we’re going along, God
providing everything for us. Marvelous.- William Marrion Branham, 54-0301 The
Angel Of The Covenant

–You will get there when you are
meant to get there and not one moment sooner. So relax, breathe, and be
patient.

I grew up in a small ‘city’ and we
went to a small church, which I still go to, till date. So basically everyone knows
everyone and you can’t do something without your neighbour knowing about it. I
remember how I had this view of how all the elders in our church were ‘judgy’
and as time passed by, I started to develop an ‘I don’t care about what you
think of me since all you do is pick my mistakes’ attitude, which, looking back, can make you quite destructive.

But here is the thing about me: I am
very very sensitive. Things easily get to me. I do well with positive criticism
and all, but if you tear me down and be negative, I kid you not, I will
probably have a good cry after. Sometimes you could be having a bad day and you
just kinda raise your voice at me, and I will seriously crumble (I know, I know
*hides*). I will replay words said, over and over again. If it’s through a
text, I will read it and it will hurt like you’re pulling a knife through me,
till I feel that I’ve had enough of the pain and delete it. Put simply: Ndine wopepela. I can act all tough and
cool about it in your face for a minute but I’ll probably be dying for some
alone time to cry about it. Luckily, this doesn’t happen often (Thank you,
Jesus!).

To be honest, I would lie if I said
I don’t admire people who are so strong, people who get bullied online, for
example, but they just.. don’t care.. *gasps!* Like, how does one just learn to
IGNORE all this negativity? I have seen how mean people can be on social media.
I seriously don’t know how they can just decide to turn all that negativity
into positivity and just.. do them. Sometimes, even have all these handy little witty replies that would take me a gazillion years to come up with. That kinda strength really interests me.

So back to this attitude I
developed. I started to try to not care. Remember I just said how things get to
me so easily. I have, for a very long time, tried to say I don’t care what
people think about me; “I will do me, you do you” and all those little empowering
quotes you can think of. But I have learnt to finally admit that I do care, but I am more selective of what
to care about.

One thing that I noticed about the people
I thought were ‘judgy’ is that, their stories kinda carried some truth in it.
Always. Maybe not entirely, because they were uncertain, but there was a very
common thing, which was an element of truth. Another thing I learnt as time
passed was the fact that these people DID have my best interest at heart. They
really just wanted me to do well, and not to necessarily get me into trouble. They
meant well. They were surprised that I could behave in such a way, and would
always try to get me straightened up and wanted to see me on the right path.

But then again, not all criticism is
constructive. This is something I learnt from the music project I just did. Some people
would criticize my work with no basis, no positivity, and I could tell all they
wanted was to break me. I have something against people who are quick to criticize
but offer no solutions at all. I am always against such kind of criticism.
Well, I got some of those. And it made me have a tough skin as time went by. At
first it could take hours to just let it go… I would replay their words in my
head over and over again and feel so inferior, but I told myself just how useless it all was. I could
have used that time to think about important things… like cheese.

I am one person that loves laughing.
I laugh at everything and anything at anytime. I do love good jokes. But some
jokes, they just go a little too far. Some jokes are just attacks, on the real.
I feel that sometimes we don’t even take time to think about how the other
person is gonna feel when we say some of these things, all in the name of banter.
Constant ‘jokes’ about one’s physical appearance for instance, or something they
did in the past which was talked about privately. Those are not really things
you can throw around in the name of jokes. 

All in all, I think we have
developed an ‘I don’t care what other’s think about me’ attitude that, to some extent, makes us blind to
some helpful advice we could have received, by someone who really had your best
interest at heart. That said, some words said are just set out to hurt you. So some of
us have our tears too close (misonzi
yapafupi lol) and we easily have a good cry even if we sometimes try to act
all strong and cool.

I realise just how jumbled up my
thoughts were in this post, and I was unorganised, but I hope you got a thing
or two from all this mumbo-jumbo. Maybe this may help:

·       It’s okay to not be able
to take criticism well. Hashtag Team sensitive (and proud?)

·      
Not all criticism is set
out to harm you. Filter them and take the important bits, then use them to
better yourself. Remember, your reputation matters.

·      
Please do not be shy
about crying. It heals. I don’t know about you, but I always feel 1000x better
after a cry and it makes moving on easier. It’s like closure to me.

·      
Ignore all the
negativity especially when you’re SURE the person doesn’t have your best
interest at heart or doesn’t even know your story.

·      
Be mindful of little
jokes you say, because some people can easily get offended and worse still,
they are not brave enough to tell you, so you may think it’s just alright. Try
imagining how you would feel if a person ‘joked’ about the same thing to you.

·        
I am a wimp

Anyway, I wrote this because I
remembered when I was a kid, I overheard some women who were supposed to be
my mum’s friends, talking about how I always do the same ugly hairstyle. It
hurt me so much, and I had a cry in my aunt’s bathroom for some minutes. Now
that I’m older, I think this is the kind of talk I just had to ignore. My hair
was adorable :).

–If
they don’t know you personally, don’t take it personal.

-Ephesians 4:29-  Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

-When
we are born, we cry. And sometimes, when we cry, we are born again.

–There’s a quote I read once but I can’t seem to
remember it clearly, so I will try to paraphrase it.. “Sometimes, criticism from the right person is better than a
compliment.” It was obviously worded better than this but I hope you get
the point.

While cooking yesterday, I
hurriedly tried to put back some spices in a cupboard and ended up dropping my
smart phone, which was in the pocket of my oversized hoodie. The screen went
blank.

I panicked.

I tried to switch it on.
Nothing. I hit it (because somehow that fixes some electronic appliances).
Blank. I removed my battery, replaced it and switched it back on. My hands were
beginning to shake at this point. Then it hit me, I will be phoneless for the
next couple of [weeks, months, years… till my father decides to rescue me]. I
thought about my empty bank account. How in the world will I even replace this
phone?

“My baby!” I mourned. I
heard a vibration. The Samsung start up tone. But the screen was still blank.
My mother casually walked into the room.

“My phone has stopped
working, mum,” I said.

She kept on walking.

“What did you do to it?”
she finally asked.

“I just dropped it… like
all times. But it won’t turn on. I mean, it’s turning on, but the screen is blank.”

“Pepa,” mum says with a poker face, “Maybe you should keep trying.” 

My mum is so chill. I always admire how calm she is. We are two opposites.

I tried to remove the
battery. I blew the battery. The phone. I have no idea why but I felt maybe it
could help. I hit it again.

“Come ooooon!!! Don’t die on me please please
please!!!” I begged.

Nothing.

“Mum, there’s no change! Give me your
car keys, let me rush and get it checked out.”

I run and clumsily grabbed
my handbag. The car keys. I run out the door. I tried to switch my phone on
again. Nothing.

“Please, Lord, don’t let it die.” I whispered
as I drove off.

I grabbed it again, as I
simultaneously try to keep my eyes on the road. Maybe this time.

A vibration. Start-up tone.
Then NOTHING. I sighed.

My mind wandered. What if
this is a punishment? I’ve been on my phone too many times lately. Something
tells me I’ve
been far from God lately, too. All these prayers are not reaching out to him. I
try to ignore this Something. There’s no music playing and I hate the silence. I hate to
be alone with my thoughts. But I can’t get myself to switch on the music.

I drove faster and pulled
up to the closest repair shop I could find. One door was closed. I wondered if
the shop was also being closed. I grabbed my handbag and hurriedly got inside.
I saw a woman stood at the counter, probably getting her broken phone back. She
was in a black and white wedge. She looked like she just dashed out of her
office. Her lips were coloured pink. Long, treated hair. I rushed to the
counter and joined her.

The receptionist (or
saleslady, I’m
not sure) rushed to welcome me.

“My phone is not switching
on!” I started to complain.

“How are you this
afternoon?” She greeted me instead.

“I’m good,” I lie. “My baby is gone and
this is my whole life and I don’t know what in the world I will do without it because
I am so broke and I know it will take months to convince dad I need a new phone
can you please just get someone to fix my baby ASAP,” is what I want to say.

“My phone won’t start though. I can tell
it’s on but I can’t see anything.”

“Ndi LCD imeneyo,” lady in
pink lipstick budges in. (it’s the LCD).

“I know those phones. Just
get a new phone. Yatha imeneyo.” (That phone is gone).

Well this is very
comforting. I want to roll my eyes but I don’t even have the energy.

“Wait here. Let me call [insert
name of someone who is probably more knowledgeable than her],” receptionist/
sales lady said.

I removed my memory and sim
card. I tried to keep calm as I tried to switch it on again. I could feel the
lady beside me stare and observe everything I was doing. I’m too concerned about my
phone to care at this point in time. The receptionist entered with this man she
went to call.

“What’s the problem?” he asked.

Finally, someone who wants
to go straight into business. I tell my sad tale again. He removes my battery
and casually inspects it.

“Yapita phone imeneyo,” Pink Lipstick said. (That phone is goooone)

“Singakhonzekenso” (It can’t be fixed).

There’s silence all over the room
for a few seconds. I am beyond annoyed at this time. Getting a little
angry too.

“Amatelo?” I finally turned to her. Everyone laughed, including her.

“No, seriously. My phone is
broken and I need help and all you do is put me down with your words,” I
continued. I was seriously losing it and the man inspecting my phone noticed.

“It’s just the LCD, and the one who repairs
these things is away.” He interrupts me, “He will be back tomorrow. But even if
he were here, he would have to order it from somewhere and it would take
weeks.”

My heart was sinking with each word.
KILL. ME. ALREADY.

“Ok.” I finally said. I grabbed
my phone and muttered a thank you.

“Where are you going then?”
he asked.

“I’ll find someone,” I said and walked out
the door. He followed me out and went back to wherever he was before he was
called in. I drove off and tried to find someone who could fix my baby. ASAP.

As I drove off, I thought
about how unkind the lady was. I know it may seem meaningless to someone who
doesn’t know how desperate I was,
but those were the last words I wanted to hear. Imagine going to the hospital
with your loved one, and the doctors and nurses all going, “OH NO!! This is
impossible! They are gonna die!” (Even if it’s true, you let someone down gently,
for Pete’s
sake!) This lady said very few words to me but they seriously shot me down. I
thought about myself, and if I’ve ever acted that way towards someone. I felt a sense
of embarrassment. I know I may have done it some time. I may have said
something without really thinking about it first when they were in dire need of
encouraging words, and trust me, those go a looong way in such a situation. I
know that more today.

I remember when I was in third
year, there was a really difficult course that we all knew and feared. We would
sometimes go to the students who had gone through it to ask for help, and some
of them would say such discouraging words that, just thinking about it now
still hurts me. They would tell you how impossible it is, and how much work you
would have to put in. You would go back feeling defeated. I told myself, if
someone from a lower year comes and asks me about a course, I will tell them
they can do it, because I know I needed to hear that when I was in their shoes.
I will tell them not to listen to anyone that tries to discourage them,
because, for starters, how did THEY get through it themselves? If they could do
it, why not you? And second of all, nothing is impossible. When someone comes
to you when they are in despair, the last thing you should do is give them the
worst case scenario. Few encouraging words can make someone gain strength to
face another day.

You know, now I’m thinking about it, that
lady was probably getting her broken phone repaired too. Maybe her’s was even more broken than
mine, but she finally got it back. That gives me hope. I can either allow it to
get to me, and I live life like a dog with a tail between its legs, wallowing
in negativity, or I can keep my head high and be positive. I choose to ignore discouraging
words. I choose to ignore anyone that tries to put me down.

P/S: I miss my mobile phone
so much it’s
not even healthy *wipes tears*

– In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist
has a better time on the trip.

1. Life may not go as you planned. You may still be in college at 23 and not be an independent lady, adulting and winning at life, and that is okay. Pace yourself.
2. You are going to make mistakes; lots of them. Don’t be afraid to tell your Heavenly Father that you have messed up again. He is going to throw the sins away, over and over again until you taste sweet victory.
3. Someone who truly wants to commit suicide will not make a feeble attempt. They will plan and execute successfully and very rarely, announce it to the world first.
4. Not everyone will understand you. Leave it at that. Live.
5. Self love.
6. You are worth it. You are loved. You are not ‘disturbing’ your family or friends when you fall ill or need someone to talk to. You are worth being heard. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, especially yourself.
7. Aim for excellence, not perfection.
8. Take photos. Loads of them. Take photos of what interests you. Of your feet. Of animals. Of your parents laughing. Of a tree struggling to live. Of an old building. Of your friend, unaware. Things change so fast. Keep the memories.
9. Read. Read poems about love, heartbreak, injustice, self love and about food. Read articles about the things you are passionate about or about a silly craze. Read a book that you feel is overrated and prove yourself wrong. Read newspapers and frown upon how depressing they are. Read some more.
10. Open up to your friends when you need help. If they are really your friends, they will pick the pieces with you.
11. Don’t let everyone have the privilege of knowing every detail of your life.
12. Malawi, like most third world countries, has the BEST development plans and policies; but is the WORST  at implementation. Politicians run the country and their goal isn’t to move people out of poverty.
13. Prayer is the most vital force that God ever put into the hand of mankind. Use it. It works every time.
14. Don’t save your best perfume. Use it when you feel like it.
15. When you are going through a heartbreak, a slump, a depression, don’t force yourself to get up and be productive if you don’t feel healed. You wouldn’t force a broken leg to run. Similarly, don’t force yourself to face the world. Take your time to heal. Take care of yourself first. Your health matters.
16. And remember, sometimes, just getting out of bed is enough.
17. Cry. (Don’t be shy). Then wipe those tears and be the champion that you are.
18. Take advantage of the time you feel energized. Even if it is 2AM. If you are not tired, do not sleep. Do something productive instead.
19. Write a list of things you would want in someone you would fall in love with. Check if YOU have those things. Adjust accordingly.
20. Take some time off the internet (a week or two) at least once a year.
21. When it comes to choosing friends: quality over quantity, every time. Squad pictures may look attractive, but remember, the company you keep shapes you. Cut unnecessary people out of your life ruthlessly. Make your life a masterpiece.
22. When something unfortunate happens to a friend, try to remember that it could have easily been you. Remind yourself that grace has kept you and brought you far. Remember that you are helpless without the help of God. Be Encouraging and positive. Be there for someone who needs a shoulder. This world is cruel: tomorrow could be your rainy day.
23. How to cook nsima.

Hello all. I would like to formally
introduce myself. My name is Faith Victoria Tsoka and I have a passion for
music.

I know how cliché I am about to
sound; It is the story of almost every singer on any competition, but it holds
true to me and  it is how my journey
began: I have been singing since I was a little kid.

Yeah yeah, I know, we have heard
that countless times but it is how my ‘once upon a time’ begins. The first
person to ever push me towards singing is my father, Associate Professor Tsoka.
I never really understood what he ‘saw’ in my voice. He had to do a lot of
pushing for me to finally sing a special song in church. That song, “If God be
for us” marked the beginning of my singing sprees. I remember while singing,
there was noise and a lot of cheering. I had no idea what was happening. It
turns out the song was great. People from the little church I grew up in started
to push me to sing from then on. But I never really took it as seriously as I
should have.

Anyway, my mother also played a big
part in ‘drilling’ music in me. She made me start music lessons, particularly,
piano lessons with Dr Chanunkha. I remember I would go there every Thursday
afternoon at 4 PM-I don’t forget the time because I had to stop playing with my
friends, and take myself down to his residence and it used to feel like a
punishment. Mum would always push me towards it until I went to boarding school.
But I learnt a lot from those lessons and slowly, all this was pushing me
towards music. Towards singing.

Let me not get too excited, I’m
sure y’all are not interested in my childhood. I have always been singing in
church. I reached a point where I was no longer forced to play the keyboard or
to sing. There was a time dad asked me if we could go to a studio and record
some songs, and I dismissed the thought. I said it was too big a project and I didn’t
have enough songs to actually record. I came up with a bunch of excuses because
I thought I wasn’t good enough. I
never really thought I could do music so seriously. So I just excused my way
out of it.

Later on in my life, I still did
music, but halfheartedly. I was into secular music. A lot. There wasn’t an
artist I didn’t have in my iPod. But God was merciful to me and he helped me
separate from secular music. I can honestly say my life took a turn from then.
It seems as though I had removed something, and my hands were now free to hold
on to something God was handing down to me. I sometimes wish I quit worldly
music earlier, but it’s okay… it was all for a good reason. Here I am now. This
is where I am supposed to be.

There was also a year that I took
off from music completely- that I do not regret. That is the time I got closer
to God and I put my life back on track. I discovered my weak points and worked
on my voice. I also finally decided to record music, but I never ever thought
it would take me so far. The way this started was so simple. A good friend of
mine sent me a quote that touched me:

“When I stand before God at the end of my life,
I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I
used everything you gave me.’”- Erma Bombeck

That touched me. It made me act. I
told dad that we had to start recording and it all begun as a little project to
put a selection of songs I have sung in church on record and distribute to a
few people in church. Then it grew bigger with every step. I kept adding songs
till I came to a whooping 15 track list (yes, I know… those are just too many
songs for an album man), but I couldn’t pick! Every song was somehow justified.
And I am glad dad was willing to let me record that many songs.

I had the pleasure of working with
a very talented musician, producer, sound engineer and a great artist… seriously,
Twin BeatZ, you are fire! I have never come across someone with such attention
to detail. Twin worked so hard to produce the instrumentals to this CD from
scratch, and he pushed me and my voice. He wanted excellence and was willing to
meet my million demands.

I remember the first time he heard
my little demo, the best song I thought I had, and he shook his head. My hard
work. My ‘proudest’ track was criticized; left, right and centre, you guys. I
was humbled! But I needed that. I was singing in my comfort zone and I had to
grow. So I came out with new knowledge about singing every studio day. I also
had to learn other voices- alto and tenor; voices I had little knowledge about.
I am proud to say I was my own backup singer (it’s not as easy as I thought!),
thanks to my producer who worked tirelessly and patiently with me while I
sometimes (most times) sung off key (“Apa nde mwayimba zonamatu. Tamenyanso!”).

Lastly, let me share with you a
little experience I had while recording and a very valuable lesson I will carry
to my grave. During recording, Twin would always say, “Sing from the heart! Make
me feel what you are feeling!” (I think I can say he said this almost every day
at the start of recording) and I would have to do lines over and over again
till he felt what I was singing about. I don’t think I really got what he was
driving at when he asked me to “sing from the heart”. I was so used to these
songs since I had sung them so many times, that I just…sung.

There was a time that I was
fighting some things in my life, and things were not going the way I would have
loved them to. I was frustrated and feeling defeated, like I have let God down
yet again. On this particular day, we were recording “Alabaster Box”. I’ve
always loved this song and I sung it before, and yes, sometimes I felt like the
woman that washed Jesus’ feet; but on this particular day, I WAS THE WOMAN THAT
WASHED JESUS’ FEET!!! I was there at his feet, while people judged me and
questioned my Lord’s decision to let me wash his feet and dry him with my hair.
Right in the booth, with all the insecurities I was feeling, tears started
streaming down my face. But I didn’t want to stop. I hit a new kind of high. I
SUNG FROM THE HEART. I just let myself be in that spirit until the song ended.

Then my producer clapped his hands.
He was so happy! He told me how happy he was that I finally ‘sung from the
heart’ without him having to remind me. But he had no idea I had just cried
throughout the song (now he knows). If you listen to track number 5 on the
album, you may notice how different my voice sounded, especially from the
second verse. From this day, I learnt what it meant to sing from the heart…
what it means to sing and let yourself BE the song. I learnt just how important
it is to do everything for God from the bottom of your heart and how different things
turn out when you do.

I have too many people to thank for
being there throughout my music journey but I can only mention a few. My dad
and my mum have been the best parents a girl could ever ask for, thank you for
being those parents that let their daughter live her dream. My family- I
appreciate your support and I love you very much. Twin Beatz, my producer, the
man behind this album, I am forever grateful to God for leading me to you and
for your talent. You worked tirelessly, I am so grateful. God bless you. My
friends, too numerous to mention, thank you! Zomba Church, you are the best
family any Christian could ever have. My relations who are very supportive, I
love you very much. 

Pastor Nkomba, Dr Chanunkha, Susan Dunga, Innocent Chikadza,
Justin Kumala, McDonald Chitekwe… you were the first people to ever see
potential in me when I was barely twelve years old. I thank you with all my
heart. Friends on social media, you are always supportive and encourage me,
thank you, you are all wonderful people. Also, thank you, technology! Justin and McLean Kumala also played the piano and guitar
on some tracks and I thank God for their sacrifice and talent. Martha Mpunga, you
have been more than a sister to me. God bless you and Maness Mlaviwa for
opening your home during recording.
Biggest THANK YOU to my God, he has been too kind to me. He could have
chosen any other person to make this album… I do not have the best voice in the
world, I am still working on so many things, but Lord, you let me experience
the joy that comes with music. Who am I, Lord? MWANDIKONDELA!!! I don’t know
how I can ever thank you for this gift of music. I am truly truly humbled and overwhelmed by your love.

.

.

.

Hello, again. I would like to
formally introduce myself. My name is Faith Victoria Tsoka and I am a sinner
saved by grace. I have been highly favoured and I am nothing but God’s vessel. 

I am Faith
Victoria Tsoka, and I have a passion for music.

May you be blessed.

Psalms 150

Download single from reverbnation.com/faithtsoka

If you would like a copy of my album, please let me know.

Dear God,

I humbly
come before you today. I know I always come and ask for something… but Lord,
today, I’m here to thank you. I know, I know… I won’t even ask for a day better
than yesterday. My heart is filled with gratitude, and I want to spill it down
at your feet.

Father
God, I would like to thank you for the aching headache I woke up with today,
and the little hours of sleep I managed to grab last night; it shows I have
something to work on, and you gave me this chance to get an education, not
because I’m better, no! But because in your divine wisdom, you know I could
serve you better with it. I want to thank you that this headache reminds me
that I am in fact, healthy. I know there are people out there who have accepted
sickness to be part of their life. Thank you for the reminder to appreciate
good health. Thank you for the reminder that I am healed, by your stripes, and
that I only need to have faith in your word.

I would
like to thank you, dear God, for the dirty clothes, dirty dishes lying all
around, and the mess of a room I have. You have blessed me with more than I
ever expected! If I had no blessings, I wouldn’t have had a mess. I know I don’t
thank you enough for that, but Lord, I would like to tell you I am grateful for
all these blessings. Some have one piece of clothing; perhaps what they have on
is all they have. Maybe the last meal they had was all they could manage, and
they are out seeking for the next meal. But Lord, you have given me beyond
measure! I feel ashamed that I foolishly blurt out, “I need more clothes!” when
I can’t seem to put my clothes together to make a satisfying outfit. Sometimes
I mourn about how hungry I am when I just had a meal. Oh how shameful I can
act! But Lord, please receive my thanks.

Thank you
for a family I can annoy, say silly things to and have little fights with.
Thank you that we sometimes get on each other’s last nerve and the bursts of
anger we sometimes (thank you that this is seldom) spill on each other make me
appreciate the good times more, the times we laugh and joke together, the times
we stick to each other like glue. Thank you for giving me amazing people I will
always have in my life, no matter what or where.

Thank you
for the friends that can allow us to go weeks or months without communicating.
Friends that miss out on important days in my life. Friends that aren’t there
to pick me up when I am down, or to catch my tears as they fall from my eyes. Thank
you for friends that don’t seem to step into my shoes when I need them to, or don’t
lend me their ear as much as I would like them to. Thank you for their absence
and their presence that makes all the pain go away. Thank you for their
soothing, healing words, their understanding, and the arms that hold me when I
desperately need comfort. Thank you that through them, I have learnt what great
friendship is about, what sacrifice is about, and what allowing yourself be
vulnerable in the eyes of another is. You have blessed me with great friends,
Lord! Truly, these are angels in disguise, they make life’s weary road seem
shorter. Forgive me for not thanking you enough! Forgive me for expecting them
to be perfect when I am far from it myself. Forgive me for not lifting them up
in prayer enough, and talking about myself throughout every prayer.

Thank
you, also, Lord Jesus, for friends that left my life at some point in my life’s
journey. It hurt to see people go, Lord, and I didn’t understand why you would
let such great people be in my life for such a short period. Thank you that you
let me get hurt, and you let me get puzzled over your will for my life. The
times I cried, “Why, Lord?? Why did you even let them in in the first place if
you knew they would eventually go??” Lord, thank you for those nights I felt
alone. Oh how grateful I am that all of it made me trust you more!!! I am so
grateful you let me have the privilege of having me call such people friends,
once upon a time. Doesn’t your word say there is a time and season for
everything under the heavens? How I found comfort in those words! Thank you,
Lord!

The times
I fell, Lord, how bruised I was when I got the strength to rise up again; the
pain that came with those wounds as I took my first recovery steps. It hurt, Lord.
Everyone seemed to be laughing at me when I hit the ground. I felt like giving
up on me. But you were always standing there, with an outstretched hand, you
helped me up again. I’m here to say I am grateful because it all made me
stronger. It tested my strength. I am becoming a better soldier now, because of
those failures. They have made me rely on you more. I realize now, just how
much more of you I need to get through this life. Thank you. Thank you. Thank
you so much.

Heavenly
Father, there is another important thing you have blessed me with in my life
that I am sorry to say I don’t thank you for. Thank you for the Malawian blood
that flows through me. Thank you for placing me in one of the top poorest
countries in the world. Thank you for unreliable services, slow everythings and
those “R” and “L” problems you have blessed my tongue with that reminds me that
I belong- I have an identity! Malawi has made me appreciate water and
electricity when it is available. It has made me realize how much favour you
give me day by day; it has made me have a heart for my fellow Malawians and to
lend a hand wherever I can to make someone else’s burden lighter. Thank you for
the discomfort that reminds me that this is not my true home and that I am merely
passing by. You have placed me in one of the most peaceful countries on earth;
indeed, I have never experienced the turmoil that comes with war. You have
blessed us with beautiful lakes, rivers, mountains and beautiful people with
the warmest smile to match their warm heart. You have made everything a
beautiful sight! Oh how beautiful Malawi is! Thank you for allowing me to be
raised here. Thank you for making my home so beautiful! It makes me yearn for
the future home you are preparing for me. If you can make my temporary home
this beautiful, how beautiful must my eternal home be?!

I could
never ever thank you enough, Lord. There is too much to say… I know I don’t say
it enough, but I’m thankful to you. Thank you for the salvation, for choosing
me to be your bride, when I am so undeserving of it. How can I ever thank you
Lord?? You have been too kind to me. Glory and honour be to you.

-Philippians 2:4- 

-Ecclesiastes 3:1- To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven

-1 Corinthians 2: 9- 

But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

-”Someone said, ‘You brag too much on Him.’ No, I can’t. No. He’s worthy of more bragging and exalting than any human being could ever give Him. Mortal lips could never express Him, of the gratitude or the thankfulness that we have for Him.”- William Marrion Branham, 55-0221