My Favorite Quote

Helloooo! It has been a minute! I blame my procrastination and busy schedule on this part of the semester for that. I always intended to write but something always came up. Anyway, I could come up with a gazillion excuses, so let me just get right into it.

My mid semester break was AMAZINGGGGGG!!!! As I expected! I went to my friends’ in Blantyre on the same day we closed (yes, I’m an impatient being) and I had a ball! This basically involved me being in bed all day and stepping out when I felt the urge to pee, and have breakfast-, lunch- and supper-in bed. Guys, this is my dream: Sleep as much I want, and eat as much as I can, play games in between my waking hours and chill with my lovely friends. Don’t worry, I already apologized to my friends for being such a lazy sod and they were very supportive of my laziness. Special thanks to these two amazing ladies; Maness and Martha for welcoming me into their lovely home and making me feel like a princess.

On Sunday, I managed to go to church in Kanjedza. It was an incredible service, and I managed to sing a special song (I looove singing at this church). The preaching was titled “Influence” and it reminded me of my all-time favorite quote:

Be conscious of your littleness. Who are you? Stick your finger in a bucket of water and pull it out, and find the hole you put your finger in. Then say, “That was me.” You’re nothing. You’ll not be missed after, a little while after you’re gone. They’ll have a funeral possession out here, and that’s all. But your influence will live on, and on and on –

Influence-63-0112 – William Marrion Branham

If you have ever been in my room, this is the quote I pasted on my wall. I loved it from the first time I ever heard it; during family altar, way back in 2010. Dad went on to remind us how little and insignificant we are and how we should always remember this every waking hour. I didn’t get the “stick your finger in a bucket of water” gist at first, and then he explained it further and I actually burst out laughing, because, really, who can do that? Who is that great? But I went to bed that night thinking about our small I am and how I tend to forget this sometimes.

Uzziah started out well, he had the kingdom in order, he went on winning battles, and was a great and popular king (2 Chronicles 26). His story starts out really well and excites me when I think of all the benefits one can get when they have God on their side, and he was only sixteen! (hint hint: age doesn’t matter). Then we get to verse 16, and things start to go downhill. I kid you not, my heart aches when I read this section of the chapter! And it makes me cry out for mercy to God. I never want to get to this stage, where popularity takes the best of me (chances of me getting popular are slim by the way) and I forget my position, I am disobedient to him and end up with leprosy. How can someone start so great and end up this wretched?

During last year’s farewell function, the pastor tapped upon this and it was his main theme. As we go through high school, college or university, we want God to help us through, and he is on our side alright. We pass our various exams, assessments, overcome temptations and we seek his face continually. We are done with our education, we get great jobs, we are receiving a gazillion bucks a month and that’s it! We forget where we came from. We drop our God and feel we are able to do things on our own. When we are afar, we feel like, “that could never happen to me” but sadly, it happens a lot of people.

I do not want to go about preaching, but basically, it scares me that it is possible to have the devil grab you from God when we start to do very well and we are in high places and forget what our position is. May God have mercy upon us all. May we never forget our position, or where we came from. May we remain humble and yield to his word. Because, after all, who are we? We live and eventually die. We get mourned over and we are soon forgotten and that is the harsh truth.

I whined about coming back to uni after that, because I knew a lot of work awaited me (the second half of the semester is always the busiest) and I hadn’t touched a single notebook or textbook all holiday. I blame Martha for this, because she kept reminding me that the break is for me to rest (such a bad influence, hehe) but I know she had my best interest at heart.  Of course the busy part is here and unfortunately, I will not be able to post as frequently as before. I have had an awesome time back on campus, so far so good. I am coming to terms with things in my past and I am looking forward to the future a lot of than before. This free feeling I have is beyond amazing! I cannot wait for this semester to be done with though! I want the holiday so badly and then hopefully find a temp job to add some zeros in my bank account. Oh, and also, for the experience :D.

James 4:6: But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

James 4:10: Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

The sermon “Influence” was preached by William Branham. If you would like to know more about him, visit branham.org.

Last and definitely not least, thank you for visiting my blog and for all the positive comments you guys give! I am truly grateful!

Letting Go

I’ve had some time to reflect on the crappy week that I was having, and to settle myself after the bad grade I got on my assignment which caused me to relate it to every wrong thing in my life. I got the courage to ask my lecturer about the assignment, and even though he assured me I wasn’t as bad as others, it did not make me feel better, because I do not want to loosen up by taking my standards from the class. I am my own competition and my goal is to beat my last performance which I feel I did not do in this last assignment. Also, in my frustration, I may have told him he is an unfair marker (which reminds me, I need to apologise for that).

Peace. That’s what I’ve felt the past two days. I have literally woken up smiling or even laughing, because I just felt so at peace with myself. There is something a friend told me to do, to get rid of some bitter feelings I’ve been having. I resisted but I eventually got the courage to step up and do something I felt was so challenging (I’m really sorry I can’t mention what it is. The story doesn’t matter, just the outcome). Well, he told me that sometimes you just have to forgive others and let go of what they’ve done to you because you deserve peace and happiness. This advice has been staring in my face all along and it finally made sense to me.

The way I talked about having people walk all over you, even though you feel you have been a good friend, well, that’s bound to happen and it is not your loss. If I have a friend, I have probably told them this statement sometime in a conversation: “I want you to be happy”, and probably “I love you” through my actions, or directly; and I meant it. I don’t believe it when someone tells me they ‘no longer love [Insert Name of Previous Lover or Friend Here]’. Why? Simply because I don’t believe you can ever cease to love someone. You either never loved them, or you will forever love them because true and pure love has no ending.

I realize that my friends, whether we are still close or not, deserve happiness too, regardless of the fact that they hurt me and I pushed them out of my life. If I truly loved them as I claimed, then I don’t have to be bitter about it. I should look at their happiness and be satisfied that even though I did not assist in bringing that happiness about, they are at a better place with people that genuinely care for them.

I am happy to say I have finally reached a point where I can actually say I am happy and I am letting go of all the hurt you have caused me. I am finally letting go, because I told you I want you to be truly happy and you deserve love too. I am only hoping that the little time I was in your life, I helped you out, somehow, and I left a little print on your soul.

There are some people that you wish you spent a little more time with, but we should remember that our minds are finite but Gods’ mind is infinite. There is a reason some people just walk in and out of your life. Maybe there was a purpose that they were there to serve, and their time is done. Trust in God who sees better and can see further than you can see and loves you more than you could ever imagine. As someone once said, “God often removes someone from your life for a reason. Think twice before you chase after them.” Think of it as a parent, who nurtures for their kid and gives them every good thing in life so they can grow up to be the best. If that kid were to rush after a knife that’s laying around, the parent would obviously remove that knife from the baby. The baby might cry after it, and wonder why their ‘toy’ has been taken from them. God is that parent, only he loves and cares waaaay more than that. I’ve learnt that if you let him take the wheel, you just need to trust him that you will get to your destination.

This is getting longer than I expected, I always have too much to say (hehehe). Let me end this post by saying that dwelling on the hurt and heartache that others have caused you will get you nowhere. And trust me, I know how hard it is to let go! But slowly, I have gotten to a place where I realized I am holding to hot coal and I am hurting myself instead. My roommate said this to me yesterday, and it’s a statement that got me thinking. She said that by pointing at your friends’ mistakes and flaws, it doesn’t make you a better person, because you have made mistakes too, and you probably have your own flaws too, but they are just different (she didn’t say it in those exact words, obviously). I have my own life to work on, and I am on my own journey. Putting others down will not make me look like the bigger man. So this is me, finally letting go. Because I deserve peace. And my friends, past or present, deserve happiness too because I truly love them and want the best for them.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7: Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.