5 lists of 10’s

So I am still very much in love with lists 😛 and I decided to make some more.

  • Worst feelings:
  1. Being ignored
  2. Realizing you hurt someone you love
  3. Getting a crappy grade on a paper you worked hard on
  4. Being told off
  5. Hearing a nasty rumour about yourself
  6. Hearing a nasty rumour about someone you respect
  7. Being stood up
  8. Saying goodbye to loved ones
  9. Losing something valuable
  10. Regrets
  • Best feelings:
  1. Long hot showers
  2. Wearing a new outfit
  3. Making a baby laugh
  4. Sleeping in
  5. Long hugs
  6. Making friends with someone as crazy as you
  7. Getting a great grade on a paper you worked hard on
  8. Being happy for no reason
  9. Laughing with special people
  10.  Finding a comforting bible verse when you’re down
  • Things I am grateful for:
  1. My living God, and all the grace he shows me
  2. My AWESOME family
  3. Great and understanding friends
  4. The lovely neighbourhood we live in
  5. The opportunity to go to university (and be enrolled in a program I am passionate about)
  6. Song writers that can write what I can’t
  7. The mistakes I have made that somehow brought me closer to God
  8. My warm and comfy throw
  9. The veranda at home that always has a great view and cool breeze
  10. That I am alive, healthy and happy
  • The list of little things…
  1. Cute little buttons
  2. Babies’ fingernails
  3. Cool side of the pillow
  4. Bein barefoot
  5. Waking up to the sight of a sunrise
  6. Headbands
  7. Holding hands
  8. Italics in a book
  9. Rainbows
  10. Full moons
  • Places I would like to visit:
  1. Miami
  2. Victoria Falls
  3. Likoma Island
  4. The Great Wall of China
  5. Canada
  6. The Grand Canyon
  7. Bora Bora
  8. Preacher ’s Rock, Norway
  9. Switzerland
  10. Maui, Hawaii

My other list: http://veshfbaby.tumblr.com/post/97252692279/i-love-lists

How I Quit Secular Music

I have wanted to write about this for a whiiile but I kind of lacked the extra push, but something came over me today and I feel that I should talk about one of the things I managed to overcome in my Christian life.

Secular music. How did I even begin to listen to secular music? I grew up in a Christian home where the only music we listened to was Christian music, and nothing more. We listened to a lot of country (Emmylou Harris, Loretta Lynn etc), Bluegrass (Cockman Family) and all these other artists, Byskal Sisters, Heirloom, Twila Paris, Believers, Younce Brothers, The LaFontaines. My mother was always strict about what we sung, I remember one of our friends taught us some silly song, “Bekeshu bekeshu bekeshu, wakutuma ndani kuti ubekeshule…” and mum was mad, she told us to stop with the silly music.

I went to a boarding school when I was about 11 years old (I was sooo tiny and people told my dad off for being so cruel). I think that’s where this spirit came in. I started singing a lot of secular music and I turned one of my notebooks into a songbook (a lot of my Malawian friends can recall this craze). It started getting serious when I was in form 3. I went from the girl that knew no secular music, to the one people come to for lyrics and “what song is on the top chart?” I knew EVERY SONG and EVERY LINE. I had the pleasure of owning some nokia phone with a radio and come Friday, we would gather and listen to music all night long. During the holidays, I would listen to the radio nonstop, and memorize them like mad.
So I ended up collecting a lot of music (thanks to free downloads and fast internet). I had a loooot of music. Rap. R n’B. Pop. Rock. Dancehall. Soul. I started getting into Folk and Indie towards the end. I had albums on albums. My iPod was full of all this music. But deep in my heart, I knew this was wrong and my conscious condemned me. It would trouble me but I would brush it aside, like, not now. My time to quit will come.

One of the times that I was really shaken up was when a certain preacher came from South Africa, and he talked about the dangers of secular music. He said that music is somewhat something we all seek, because when we were babies and we cried, our mothers would cuddle us and the sound of her heartbeat would soothe us. So music still soothes the soul, and the devil knows this, so he took over the music industry. My heart was POUNDING! I knew that sermon was about me. I went home and I was just so troubled. I went to my laptop and hid all the secular music, synched my gospel music to my iPod and prayed that I overcome. So you might think this is where it all ended. Wrong! I did this for about a week and I just missed the music! I went back and unhid all these songs. The devil is sooo clever. You know what kept coming over me? Just hide them, and see if it works out. Don’t delete them yet, what will you listen to when you get rid of all this music? The same boring songs you’ve listened to since you were young? YAAAWN!

Here’s the trick, dear friend, this is free advice, take it or leave it… when you feel like getting done with some habit or some sin, DO NOT HESITATE, and will I repeat: DO NOT hesitate. The devil will throw reasons your way and it will make sense. DO NOT listen! Just gain the courage and uproot your sin and then commit it to God. Don’t hide it, the way I did, or give it a ‘trial period’. Just flee from it. The devil is very crafty; he’ll find a way to make you start over. He’s had tons of years practicing how to attract people to his end. I prayed that I overcome, and I decided that maybe it wasn’t my time to quit secular music yet.

So I wasn’t allocated a room on campus yet (I was in first year of uni), so whenever I got on campus, I would go to a friend’s room in between my classes or during lunch. The name of this friend is Hope, and she is one of the most serious Christians I have ever encountered. She’s the type that doesn’t play with Christianity and I remember wondering if we would ever get along at first. But we did, and she is the sweetest girl I know.

Anyway, I went to her room one afternoon and I was lying on her bed, with my iPod beside me. She asked for my iPod so she could listen to some music. This is the part my brain had to come up with a legit excuse, but I don’t know, I guess my brain was just tired that day, I came up with no excuse and I watched myself hand over my iPod, knowing full well she would see my music (90% was secular music). But I came up with a plan. I went to my music and went to the playlist with gospel music and I prayed that she wouldn’t go anywhere else. I went back to ‘sleep’ (like I would sleep in such a situation!).

You know how iPods auto-rotate the screen and show you the albums when you even slightly tilt it? Yup. It did just that. I watched her as she browsed through my album artwork and we all know how filthy album artworks are with secular artists (half naked women, painted faces, gang signs with rap artists, et cetera.) I knew that Hope wasn’t just going to let this go easy. But she went back to the playlist and listened for some time as she did her school work like she saw nothing and I continued sleeping (or just lying there with my eyes closed, letting what just happened sink in).

The next day was a Friday, I remember, and I slept in that morning because I didn’t have classes on Fridays. I was in bed when I got a text. YUUUP! From Hope! It was a really long text and she sent it by parts, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget the words. She told me that she saw the music I have was not right for a Christian and that God isn’t pleased with such. She said that millions of souls are sent to hell just because of this music and that it is all controlled by the devil. She told me to move away from it all and I should see the marvelous things God will do for me and she ended it with some really loving words (something like I hope you don’t get offended, I’m just trying to help you, love you!). It was nothing I hadn’t heard before, but it all just kinda… *clicked* that day, and somehow, my eyes were opened. I read those texts with tears in my eyes and I remember pulling my beddings over my head and I just cried and cried. I just cried out to God to help me. I said, “God, you know I’ve wanted to quit for a long time now, but I can never get round to it.” I texted her back and thanked her, and told her that it’s something I’ve been struggling with for a while.

I texted our music director and asked to meet him. I explained to him what I was struggling with, and you know what he did? He told me testimonies, a lot of them! I was slightly confused; because I was expecting him to scorn me (I play the keyboard in church so I expected to get schooled on the dangers of mixing worldly music and Christian music). At the very end, he said, I’ve told you all these stories because I want you see that nothing is impossible with God. Then he told me these words: Go and delete ALL the secular music you have; in your laptop, phone and iPod. That is the only solution.

I was attached to my music. I had been collecting this music and it seriously felt like someone was ripping my heart out. But I went and deleted every secular song and I prayed for forgiveness and strength. It was not an easy thing to do but I kid you not, my walk with God took a turn after that. I can’t lie and say that after I deleted that music, the songs were also deleted in my mind. No. Some songs are still stuck in my head till today and I honestly wish I could get rid of them forever.

God has been so gracious to me. I don’t think I could have done it without him and it’s been over a year now, all I listen to is Christian music, and you know one awesome thing about it? You can put a gospel song on repeat all day and you won’t get enough of it! I couldn’t do the same with secular music, I would get bored by the second day and I would just want something different. It hasn’t been easy, friends can shove this track in your face, and the neighbours blast a song that used to be my favourite, but I thank God that I am still willing to fight it out. I am in no way better or holier simply cause I overcame this one thing. There are still some things I need to overcome and I admit that I cannot do it without his help.

If you feel like you want to overcome secular music, my advice is that, pray about it. Really pray about it, and don’t do it until you’re sure you will follow through. I have heard a lot of people tell me they deleted their secular music, but ended up redownloading them. It’s not easy, I know, but you will see how different things will be when you completely surrender to him. Christian music is important for your spiritual growth and ungodly music just drives you away from him. Music has such a massive influence and as I keep saying, the devil is in it. Shun it! Keep away from all things that pertain to sin.

-1 John 2:15:  Love not the world, neither the things [that are] in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

Chilema Tree

Yesterday, my big sister Honest and I drove to this small trading centre called Malosa to see a dentist and we remembered that when we were young, my dad took us to a certain place called Chilema up Malosa Mountain. At first we thought it was far and we were worried about the fuel (the struggle is real!!) but we found out from one receptionist that it is only about a kilometer away from the hospital. So off we went to visit this phenomenon.

Chilema (meaning “disabled” or “deformed” in our local language) is this humongous tree that keeps growing and has intertwined trunks and it looks like a whole forest but it is just one single tree. It is BEAUTIFUL!! Oh. My. Days!!! image

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The lady we met there said, “It is deformed, because it won’t stop growing and it’s not like a normal tree” (obviously no tree grows up AND sideways to form a forest) and I tried to explain the irony of it and I think she didn’t get my gist ‘cause she kept repeating her explanation and we just nodded politely and walked into this wonder. My goodness, I couldn’t get over how beautiful it was! There are branches and roots everywhere and you can never find where it first started. So we thought we were gonna spend less than ten minutes or something but we kept taking pictures and the minutes ticked away. And yes, it was sooo worth it! image

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So yes, of course I am going to talk about how I do not feel that being deformed is ‘ugly’. We have this view that normal is ‘good’ or ‘beautiful’ and anything that is different, we frown upon it and call it ‘disabled’. Handicapped.  Incapacitated.  Weird (not the awesome kind of weird). As long as it is not conforming, it is ‘bad’. Well, yesterday I saw it differently. Just because someone or something is not the same as what you are used to getting does not make it ugly or useless.

Where am I going with this? The past few days, I was down in the dumps because I was struggling with something I felt I couldn’t overcome and I felt not good enough. I felt so unworthy and such a sinner, like, why do I keep failing on this one thing? I reached a point where I hardly slept (apart from the fact that internet has been free after midnight this month, lol), I could hardly eat and I would lay in bed and just feel sorry for poor me. I got the courage and told a friend of mine how horrible I had been feeling.

This is the type of friend that pretty much, gloves off, tells you straight up, no beating around the bush or sugarcoating, why they think you are wrong and they pretty much make you feel the pain, and I was just there like, “why did I pick this friend of ALL people?” But what I love with these type of friends is that they let it sting and tell you, “don’t lick your wound” so next time you actually think twice before making the same mistake. And then they give you the best advice followed by the most comforting and uplifting words. So I picked my sorry self up, and straightened things with God. I was given a quote, “It’s always darkest before dawn” and I remember rolling my eyes like, “here we go with these stupid motivational quotes”. Then I was told, “you’re about to be the happiest girl.” It seemed so farfetched when I looked at my present state.

The service on Sunday was exactly on my need and it felt gooood. It was about how God sees us as perfect because he looks at us through the blood (Romans 8). And then come Monday (yesterday), this is just what I needed to see. That God can turn a tree people are calling ‘deformed’ into such a thing of beauty. He can turn a sinner around and make him/her so beautiful. Nothing is too hard for God. No sin is too vile for him to wash away. It is not by our works, but his grace. I have made many mistakes (and I will keep making them as long as am a human being), but I am relying on him to give me strength to keep on keeping on. And yes indeedy, I was the happiest girl yesterday. That ‘stupid’ quote turned out to be true after all. 

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There’s no need to be PERFECT to inspire others. Let others be inspired with how you deal with your imperfections.

-Isaiah 1: 18. Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

Other posts 

http://veshfbaby.tumblr.com/post/87421308749/hitting-the-big-two-one

http://veshfbaby.tumblr.com/post/88395364579/sometimes-i-just-want-to-get-away

http://veshfbaby.tumblr.com/post/88579649719/letting-go

http://veshfbaby.tumblr.com/post/90145670494/my-favorite-quote

http://veshfbaby.tumblr.com/post/93971098334/my-thoughts-as-i-walked-from-my-room-to-class

http://veshfbaby.tumblr.com/post/97252692279/i-love-lists

http://veshfbaby.tumblr.com/post/97526139394/when-you-are-feeling-lonely-and-wondering-why-you

Pray for him

When you are feeling lonely and wondering
why you haven’t met him yet
You should pray
Pray that he had a good day
Pray that he is making good decisions
Pray that he is healthy and happy
Pray that he will be able to help support
you and your family some day
But most importantly
Pray that he is actively growing his
relationship with the Lord
Jesus hears you
Just Pray.

Unknown

Positivity

I want to be the most positive and enthusiastic person I know. I want to say, “yes, I have made progress. I am scarred and I have been hurt. I have been through hell but I came out alive and the flames have made me a better Christian because trials only come to make me strong.” I want to be so in love with God that loving others does not seem like a task. Yes, I want to be the most positive, most cheerful person I know. I want the joy of my salvation from within shine so brightly that it radiates on my face. I want to have the brightest smile in the room. No, not those fake smiles I put up sometimes so nobody knows I was up all night wishing I wasn’t so broken. I want to be that friend that you call so you can lean on… The person you go to to cheer you up. I will be the most positive and joyful person I know. I will be so locked up in God’s perfect will that everything will work for my good. I will work on it everyday til I look back and say, “thank you, Lord. It is only by your grace that I am the most positive person I know.”
“I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me” -Philipians 4:13

I love lists.

I see so many “Life hack” “tips and tricks” accounts these days. Here are a few personal tips from my few years on planet Earth.

  1. Never cheapen out on toothbrushes. Don’t believe that all toothbrushes are the same.
  2. Listen to music as you get ready for your day.
  3. Buy white items. They force you to be neat.
  4. Never leave your room for the day with the bed unmade.
  5. When tidying your room, make your bed first.
  6. Own (and wear) a wrist watch.
  7. Own a black jacket or blazer. It goes with almost everything.
  8. Don’t change perfumes, soaps or lotions so often. You’re not a patient on some clinical trial.
  9. Be friends with your vegetable vendor and stick to them.

10.Own a notepad.

11.Hand write application letters.

12.Donate clothes you haven’t worn in over 6 months.

13.Don’t go over 5 days without talking to your mother.

14.Keep in touch with your relations.

15.Be humble but don’t let people walk all over you.

16.Never go shopping on an empty stomach.

17.Trim your toenails right after you have showered. They are softer and make it easier to trim.

18.Nap on a Sunday afternoon.

19.Take loads of pictures.

20.Listen to worship music when you are feeling down.

21.Understand that not everyone who comes to you with a problem wants your solution. Some people just want someone to listen.

22.When you ask for advice, remember that at the end of the day, it is your life, not theirs.

23.Start your day with a prayer.

24.Attend church services like your life depends on it. Because it does.

25.Budget.

26.Wash your bath towel at least once a fortnight.

27.Have wet wipes around you. They come in handy.

28.When you’re playing a game with a kid, let them win.

29.Never be ashamed of laughing out loud.

30.Cry when you have to. Cry yourself to sleep. Cry till your head hurts. Feel the pain. But don’t spend too much time in a slump.

31.Never study something you’re not passionate about simply because ‘it will get you a decent job.’

32.Never do an assignment the day before the due date. Or on the due date.

33.Sing in the shower.

34.Have a clock in your room. The sound is soothing.

35.Write lists.

7 songs I would like on my funeral

People who truly know me know I love singing like nothing else! So I have a simple request. These songs have meant a lot to me while on my journey, so I would like them to be sung after I have taken my last breath. If you don’t, it’s okay. It’s not like I’m gonna start knocking on the coffin vehemently that, “you should sing those songs I wrote on my blog, or else!” ….or will I?!

  1. All My Tears
  2. Nearer, my God to thee
  3. Rock of Ages
  4. In The Sweet By and By
  5. The Great Physician
  6. Peace in the Valley
  7. Never Grow Old