For Richard Mussa (PhD)

The news that Dr Richard Mussa has passed on is very very hard to believe. Surely, this is a mistake? I just bumped into him in town the other day! He was alive and well, he looked very healthy. What was this? It took me so long to accept it; heck, I don’t even think I have accepted it yet, to be honest.
So who was Dr Richard Mussa? He was the man I feared most when going into third year; frankly, the reason I wanted to major Sociology instead of Economics. Most Chancellor College students knew Dr Mussa. Social Science students talked about him a lot, even those from other programs. His name carried fear. Before I even met him, I was already scared.

“You think this stuff is hard? Kuli Mussa PhD uku!” they would say.
Fear. Panic. 

But I overcame it anyway. I registered to major economics and took Quantitative Methods after some people talked the fear out of me. ECO 314. Dr Mussa’s first class involved him informing us that he knew people say he is tough. 

“But it’s the course, not me. Ask any student anywhere in the world that has ever taken Quantitative Methods.”

I remember putting some motivational quote on the first page of my hard cover. I would look at that when I’m feeling like the dumbest kid in that Quants class, and I would feel that way every day. I remember I would sit in front, sandwiched by two genius girls, Temwa and Precious. And I would sit there and take down everything he would write on the board. “Maybe I’ll understand when I’m studying this later”, I would encourage myself. Nope. Didn’t understand a thing still.

Quants was that course that required your full attention and dedication. It was tough. And Dr Mussa didn’t baby us. His tests were so hard for me, I didn’t understand the concepts and I was honestly just going with the flow. I heavily relied on ‘madis’ and my prayers were always, “Dear God make this year go by so fast, I’m tired.” But my third year was so long. The days dragged. The two hours of Quants on Monday and Thursday felt like four. No wonder I was almost always on the forefront to ask for a break.

The first time I actually sat down to talk to Dr Mussa was when I miserably failed his first test. I went into his office, almost in tears. I told him how much I’m failing and how I don’t understand a single thing, even though I’m trying with all my might. Here is the thing with Dr Mussa: he was a very very good motivational speaker. He told me it was fear that was holding me back and that if I only remove it, I will be fine. I tell you, I went out of his office that day feeling like I could fly. I was pumped. He made me feel like I was the greatest, and that all I had to do was learn from the mistakes I made prior to this test.
Then it happened again. I failed test 2. I didn’t even get it. I was so mad. I did what he told me to do. I worked hard for this paper! I was so mad! The man who formed this test paper wasn’t the same man I met in his office few weeks back. What was this? This was a different Dr Mussa!! 

Did I mention that Dr Mussa did not baby us?
And that he sometimes told us he would dream the next set of questions for our tests?
Who dreams of questions to set for third year’s in a course as hard as Quantitative Methods?

Dr Mussa did not baby us. He often told us that he wanted us to be the same level as Harvard students. Harvard, you guys! He said he wanted us to be brilliant economists.

The next time I went into his office was after we reopened for our second semester. He was going to lecture us on Quantitative Methods II. I told him I had failed his exam and had to write a supplementary exam. I told him how this was my first ever supp and I was worried I would fail this semester again. He pulled out his laptop and checked my results. He said I did well towards the end. He gave me another great talk. People talk of a certain kind of mouse that bites it’s victims while they’re asleep, and it blows on the wound and it soothes so much that the victim does not feel the sting… that was what Dr Mussa did. He was different from the man who would form those exam questions. Here he was, blowing on my stinging wound again.

But I learnt a lot from Dr Mussa. I learnt hard work. I learnt that things do not come easy. I learnt how to discipline myself, how to humble myself and work with the geniuses to pass the course. I learnt a lot about team work. I also learnt I could achieve anything, if I put away the fear first. My second semester was waaay better than my first, and I know it was because I actually did what he advised me to do.

In Sociology, we used one of his works to talk about policies and planning. I loved his work. “A Dangerous Divide: The State of Inequality in Malawi.” I read this work over five times. I was impressed. I have always been obsessed with inequality gaps, and this work was very clear and eye opening. He was more than just a statistics genius; he did a lot of research for Malawi too, and at a young age! I remember how he always stressed that development plans are not the problem (we are actually very excellent at that as a nation), but the implementation. He stressed the implementation part a lot. I never forget that part.

The last time I sat down and talked to him was when I was looking for my dissertation topic. Some of the lecturers were advising me against my topic. They said they saw no gap, that someone had already written about it. I felt defeated, but I decided to talk to him anyway, just to get one last opinion. His door was always open. He would never tell you he was too busy to help. Such a humble soul. Anyway, he told me my topic was doable, and he gave me direction like where to get the data from. He was the same Dr Mussa that would leave you feeling pumped and motivated after you had failed his test. 

So here we were, in the packed Chanco coaster, on our way to his home village, Balaka. Some women behind me talk about his short illness.. about how he was almost done with the house he was building.
“It’s so huge!” they say, “Can you imagine, he won’t live in the house he’s been building all along?”
And he won’t get to see the fruits from the economists he lectured and mentored. That’s the heart breaking part.
We are at his home, sitting outside. The men are carrying his body to the grave, which is just a few meters from the house. There are sounds of weeping everywhere. I’m with Mercy, his cousin. We hold each other as we weep for this great man. His mother waves at his son and the resemblance of the hand is striking. It is almost like that of Dr Mussa. I can see him write on the board in Room B with the other hand on the pockets of his jeans.
Too soon, sir. Too soon.

– “But reducing inequality will not be a benign by-product of growth under trickle down assumptions. It will only happen as a result of deliberate joint policy efforts, which all Malawi’s government and civil society must unify behind.” From Oxfam’s report that Dr Mussa authored. 

 

May Dr Richard Mussa’s soul rest in eternal peace.

I took this picture while waiting for the men to return from the graveyard.

100 truths

Friend tagged me in this 7 years ago on Facebook. I’ll answer it now ?

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Water
2. Last phone call: Taxi guy
3. Last text message: My friend Mercy
4. Last song you listened to: I WILL FOLLOW YOU – ANTHONY EVANS
5. Last time you cried: last night

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone: …
7. Been cheated on: …
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: …
9. Lost someone special: yes
10. Been depressed: yes
11. Been drunk and threw up: never been drunk before

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12: red
13: white
14: black

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend: no
16. Fallen out of love: no
17. Laughed until you cried: not yet
18. Met someone who changed you: no
19. Found out who your true friends were: yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you: no, too early for that???
21. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list: nooo

RANDOM:
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: 80% of them
23. How many kids do you want: Max 3
24. Do you have any pets: yes
25. Do you want to change your name: just my last ????
26. What did you do for your last birthday: travelled and met some friends, went to church and hung out with family
27. What time did you wake up today: 5am, then 7:40 am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: talking on the phone
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Heaven
30. Last time you saw your Mother: last night
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: hang on, lemme think about it
32. What are you listening to right now: sound of a fan
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes, my shift manager at McD’s!
34. Who’s getting on your nerves right now: no one
35. Most visited webpage: probably Branham.org
36. Longest Relationship: with myself ?
37. Best Online Friend: I have loads of those
38. Relationship Status: single
39. Zodiac sign: Gemini
40. Male or female: Female
44. Hair color: Black
45. Long or short: Short (& proud!!)
46. Height: 159 cms
47. Do you have a crush on someone: no
48. What do you like about yourself: I have passion (as cheesy as that sounds)
49. Piercings: nope. Just on my Saviour ??
50. Tattoos: never
51. Righty or lefty: righty

FIRSTS:
52. First surgery: don’t think I’ve had this
53. First piercing: never
54. First best friend: Neema M (hiiiieee)
55. First sport you joined: Netball back at ZPPS
56. First vacation: Boadzulu, Mangochi

RIGHT NOW:
57. Thinking about: starting the day
58. Craving: Mac n cheese
59. Eating: nun
60. Drinking: nun
61. I’m about to: finish this, pray, and go grab brekkie
62. Listening to: the fan blowing away, and birds outside the window
63. What time is it: 08:23AM

YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids: Deffo!
65. Get married: I can hardly wait!
66. Career: I dream large on this: Writer, Musician, Program Manager or M&E Officer, Researcher, Activist, and Home maker

WHICH IS BETTER:
67. Lips or eyes: depends…
68. Hugs or kisses: also, depends
69. Shorter or taller: REAAAALLLYYY depends
70. Older or Younger: again, depends
71. Romantic or spontaneous: both, please ?
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: both ?
73. Sensitive or loud: both, also
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
75. Furries or Scalies?: Curries all the way!

HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger: nope
77. Drank hard liquor: nope
78. Lost glasses/contacts: No
79. Sex on first date: nooooo
80. Broken someone’s heart: I think so
81: Had a crush on a person of your gender: never
82. Been arrested: nope
83. Turned someone down: yes
84. Cried when someone died: why not????
85. Fallen for a friend: umm lol

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: yes!!!
87. Miracles: happen every single day
88. Love at first sight: yes!!!
89. Heaven: definitely. This is what I hope for
90. Santa Claus: never
91. Kiss on the first date: noooo
92. Angels: yes! I have one watching me right now (hi!!!)

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: nope
95. Did you sing today: not yet. I sing everyday, so I’ll do so soon
96. Ever cheated on somebody: eeh
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: foundation of the world ??
98. The moment you would choose to relive: lemme think. I have loads
99. Are you afraid of falling in love: not anymore ?
100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths: nope ?

Sorry my answers were uninteresting. But I did this because I was bored, so ✌?