Not for Social Media

So I won’t lie to you, I spend a lot of my time on social media and I also take a lot of pictures (something I’m not ashamed of by the way, I love to keep my memories). I know people talk about how negatively social media is affecting us, and how we spend far too much time on our phones, but let’s be real, social media has it’s up side… I mean, using binoculars to stalk people is just way too tedious and how else will I know what that friend I had Psychology with in first year had for lunch today?

Anyway, in all seriousness, social media has brought us closer, and has made communication cheaper than those phonecalls and letters we used to write (waiting for months for that reply was hell). It’s fun to share with your family and friends because, why not? Who doesn’t want to experience the joy of sharing (and maybe waving to people’s faces that your day is going way better than theirs)?

Everyone wants to show their good side tho, the one that’s organized and full of joy; and appear to have everything together. I’m also guilty of this. There have been times I was going through the most, but I refused to share or show this side to my social media friends or followers. Maybe I would use some deep caption that’s totally unrelated to a picture of me with my back against the camera, and that’s the closest I can come to sharing an image reflecting what’s really going on. Very rarely do we come out and say, “you know what? My life is a total mess right now.” We would rather post a picture of delicious food or selfies with our friends at some fast food restaurant where we only bought ice cream, but hey, who wants to share to the world that they are broke?

For the past couple of weeks, I embarked on a journey to try and capture pictures that are not for social media. I thought it would be easy but it was harder than taking a picture you would share online. For one, I have now been wired to take ‘good’ pictures, and I would remember halfway that it’s not supposed to look good, and I didn’t have to choose a good angle, but that it had to be natural and raw. Then I thought it would be better if, apart from the images I had taken, I just scrolled through the million images in my gallery and select the ones I would not dare post online, probably because I forgot to delete them.

I’m taking this risk and posting images I am truly embarrassed of, just to say, “hey. It’s OK to be real, even if it’s not looking ‘good'”, which is something I am learning. So guys, I truly I’m nervous just posting these, because I’m not yet taken, I could lose the interest of my suitors. Anywho, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, images not meant for social media:

 

 

This was during a survey I took part in, in Lilongwe. A lot of the images I posted during field work were never this bad. Actually, a lot of people think it was a lot of fun for us (no, it wasn’t). On this day, we were tired, and our morale was on an all time low because we were working during the weekend. To make matters worse, our colleagues had just been chased by dogs at a certain household in the area. So we sat on the first place we laid our eyes on, which was next to this drain full of trash. This was one of the worst days during the survey, and this image was supposed to be deleted but I forgot about it.

I was pestering my granny to smile, and she must have gotten tired. I accidentally captured this look.

Apart from maybe impressing my prospective apongozi (in law), this image is one I wouldn’t consider posting online, because of how thin I looked from this angle (I posted one from a better angle). Aunty insisted on taking an image of me, and she accidentally used this filter that makes me look like I haven’t had sleep in over a week. Let’s not even go into those clothes I just randomly picked.

Yes, I look like this when I have just risen from my slumber (which is everyday). Yes, I know I look like I could murder you in cold blood. No, I would never post this, not in a million years.

I washed my beddings in the morning of this particular day, and I was too lazy to lay my bed, so I used this sheet so I could at least use half of the bed. My room was a total mess and I was too tired to tidy up. Here is me eating nsima with beans and nkhwani on a messy bed while watching a Ted talk on my laptop.

I feel like stopping here but I have to finish the challenge…

My mirror (read little sister) wasn’t around to check how bad my hair looked and I knew dad would tell me it looked fine so I had to use my camera to check my hair at the back. I didn’t like it, I had to redo it.

This last image is sooo embarrassing that I almost deleted it. I know it may sound silly but I really really REALLY feel vulnerable right now. Please, I’m begging all suitors to not give up on me because of these really bad images. I have a good heart lol.

So you know how when you and your friends take some images, you select the ones that look good (while all the while concentrating on how YOU look). Well, this one is one of those you delete immediately and forget right there and then. This is me, with my eyes closed at the wrong time, and my mouth doing God-knows-what. I almost deleted this, but I thought it would be the perfect example of an image I can never post online.

There you have it. Like I said, sharing the ‘real’ me is something I am still learning and I don’t think it is superficial or shallow of us, but it is in our nature to present the best version of ourselves to the world. All the same, I hope me showing you how crazy and ridiculous I look sometimes makes you realize it’s OK to be yourself, and that the people who matter will love you for who you truly are, and not just the image you paint online. I personally think life gets easier when you are carefree and true to yourself.

I hope your 2018 is good and I wish you a year full of moments so great, you even forget to check your phone.

XxxX

-Faith Victoria.