Today I went through my Whatsapp Voice Notes folder and I came across all these OLD voice notes I forgot about, from about a year ago, and I just realized how things have changed! The people I would talk to everyday are not even people I can call my friends now. Some friends changed numbers and I don’t have their new number, but we all know this is code for “I have erased you from my life”. Some people I still talk to, occasional ‘hi’, some I don’t talk to at all, their names are slowly moving to the bottom of my chat list because we completely fell out and I don’t know how or what they are doing. And there’s something about voice notes, they just carry all the emotions… the sighs, the laughter, the sound of their voice… they make you recall exact moments which make them different from a text. They are too raw and all the memories just flood into your mind. I just found myself crying, and I don’t even know why! I don’t know if it’s cause I wanna go back to being so close with them and experience the moments all over again, or if I am realizing just how far I’ve come… or if it’s just me being stupid old emotional me.
Out of everything though, I know one thing for sure, the friends you have today may not even be your friends tomorrow, and this thought scares me used to scare me! See, before, I was the kind that fought to keep people in my life. I would visit and call, and do everything to stay in touch. Then I read somewhere that “there are times when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t even jump a puddle for you." I realized that no matter how much effort you put into staying friends with someone, some people just don’t appreciate it and all it does is leave you hurt.
This is what I have finally concluded: no friend is guaranteed tomorrow, no matter how close you are today, as harsh as that is to hear. But just because you don’t know if there’ll be there or not, it would be ludicrous to treat them like they have already exited your life. Not only are you denying yourself the chance to be happy, they may end up being the friend that lasts a lifetime. So, enjoy the little time you may have with your friends, some day, you may not be close anymore but you will look back and say, “Damn, we had the time of our lives!” and smile about it, or you will go down memory lane and shed a few tears for an unknown reason, the way I just did. But what really cheered me up is the voice note I listened to from a friend that I am much closer to now and I thanked God they stuck around clumsy, silly me, and honestly, those are the friends that make life worth the while.
This goes out to all my friends, past and present. I have loved the time I have spent with you, and I am grateful that you left a print in my heart and I hope I have too, no matter how little the time we spent together was. You will forever be remembered, because somehow, you have made an impact in my life and made me who I am today.
-“There are people who can walk away from you… let them walk. I don’t want you to try and talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you… your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over…” -T.D. Jakes