Wedding Guest: African Print

So, yesterday my mum just sprung news that we have to attend a wedding that we got invited to, and that she forgot to tell us earlier. I literally had very few minutes to get ready but thank God I had this dress I had made some time back, that I thought was perfect for the occasion. I almost forgot to take pictures for the blog-I’m still a rookie at modest blogging hey, but anyway, here we are!

I bought this cloth from a friend at a very great price and had the tailor do his magic.

Little tip: when it comes to tailor made clothes, google as much as you can! You can have the neck from one picture, the sleeves from another picture, etc- till you get what you really want. Get inspired and steal styles as much as you can (heck, you can even start stealing from this one lol!). And when you do, be sure to show the tailor what it is exactly you’re expecting from them, instead of just explaining and expecting them to imagine what you’re going for. I feel like seeing an actual picture is better. And for me, I show him a gazillion pictures so he understands, and the results are always what I was dreaming of.

FYI: I love pockets so much!

Another little secret with long dresses like these, if you want a ball gown look, don’t forget to put a net inside for that ‘poofy’ look.

Headband: handmade gift from my little sister

I’m so in love with flower headbands though. How cute are they?

 

Clutch bag: graduation gift from the family. Shoes: Pep (Team Flat Shoes, where you at?)

 

Belt: thrifted

As you can see, I chose a cloth that had many colours so it wouldn’t give me a headache (colour is so important, read my previous post about colour here) and I love that African prints have all these lovely colours and patterns. I could go on and on about my love for African print, but I don’t want to bore you (not today at least).

Get searching for African Print/Ankara/modest dress designs- Pinterest and Instagram have plenty of styles-you’ll have plenty to choose from!

Happy falling-in-love-with-African-Print!

 

Witnesses

When I was young, about 7 or 8, there about, my brother and I followed my cousin Richard to wherever he was going (I don’t even remember) because I wanted to walk somewhere. We were walking down the Zomba Mental Hospital road, and I happened to cross the road, and a bicycle ran into me.
I still remember that I was wearing a red skirt, and it tore from my hip down during the whole ordeal. I was bleeding on my knee, and crying on top of my lungs, “chonde asakandibaye!!!” (“Please don’t let them give me an injection!!!“) as we made our way to the hospital (yes, I’ve always been afraid of needles). When the accident happened, so many people gathered in so little time. I remember there was ootcha chips (a man that sold chips/fries) nearby, they ditched their chiwaya (chips/fries), and came to the scene. So many other people came and surrounded us. Some of the men grabbed the cyclist by the shirt, and shouted at him. They wanted justice to be served. They were so angry! The young man kept apologizing, and he was frightened. He kept saying, “I didn’t see her approaching” but the people wouldn’t have it. He followed us to the hospital and was by my side the whole time. He was genuinely concerned. To be honest, all I wanted was to get the blood off of me and go home. He gave me MK100 (a lot of money back then), and my cousin told him he can go, and that it was an accident and that these things happen.

                                         ***

Today was a happy day for us. My cousin Hope, who had been admitted for about 5 days, was finally being discharged. After the long process of receiving medication and getting a medical report, we were finally happy to be going home. I was driving, my aunt was in the front seat, my mum and Hope sat in the passenger seat.
As I was driving into the main road from Zomba Central Hospital, I didn’t see a cyclist approaching, and I froze as he came crashing on the drivers door. He had blood on his mouth. I quickly hit the hazard lights. Somebody helped him up, and I reversed, away from the main road. I was in shock. I felt my legs shake.
Then all of a sudden, loads of people surrounded the car. They said, “you must help him.” Another said, “you can’t just drive away, he’s hurt.” I tried to get back inside the gate, but there were people behind, and the gate was too close behind. I thought, “let me drive forward a bit so I can reverse properly, get back inside and meet the cyclist.”
Big mistake.
All the witnesses thought me driving forward meant I was driving away and running away from picking up the pieces of the accident. They screamed. They shouted. Some people hit the car. I tried to explain, “no, I just want to get back inside the gate, I’m not driving away. I can’t reverse without driving forward.”
They wouldn’t have it. “Akuthawa!!” (“She’s running away!!”) somebody shouted.
Someone came and tried to grab the keys from the ignition. I grabbed them first. Then there was commotion. All those witnesses suddenly became a mob, ready to fight me so I could face justice. My aunt, my mum, and Hope, all tried to explain that we weren’t running away. Some lady said, “umadziwa kupweteka Kwa kubeleka iwe?? Ndi moyotu umenewo!” (“do you know the pain of childbirth? This is someone’s life!”). Someone else, “police case imeneyi!” (“this is a police case!”). Another person said, “akufuna athawe chifukwa alibe license. Si mwana ameneyu?” (“She wants to run away because she doesn’t have a driver’s license. Isn’t she underage?”). Just so we are clear, I have a license. I renewed it two days ago. I’ve been a driver for over 5 years.
Unfortunately, my window was rolled down. People came and were trying to grab me, some took a hold of the seat belt, and a lot of hands were fighting with me, trying to get ahold of the keys so ‘I wouldn’t run away’. It was chaotic.
Then I saw my mum trying to fight off the people who were trying to drag me out of the car. I don’t even know what time she got out to stand beside my door. My aunt was outside on one corner, trying to explain to angry people that we weren’t going anywhere. Hope was on another corner, saying I don’t know what, with so much energy, you wouldn’t believe it was the same patient that had just been discharged lol. Thinking about it now, it’s making me laugh. But it was very scary at the moment.
Eventually, mum managed to get into the drivers seat, and she told me to move to the other seat. I literally hopped to the other seat because if I went out, God knows I would have been on the news, “Mob Justice: Girl Burnt Alive at ZCH” lol, OK maybe that’s too far, but I’m sure I would have been beaten up. Then mum drove back inside the gate, where she parked on the main car park as we went in search of the cyclist.

While we waited for the doctor, people still came to check the injured man. A lady followed us everywhere (we actually thought they were related, but she said she was just there, following us). Three men from the gate hung around. They said the bicycle was so broken and the man was injured and that he could be bleeding internally. They made everything worse. Mum said, “Fai, zimachitika. Usadandaule.” (“Fai, it happens. Don’t worry.”)

I recognised one of the men who followed us, he was in a blue golf shirt. He was one of the people that wanted to grab the keys from the ignition. Him and two other men went behind a building and talked for some minutes. When they came back, man in blue said to my mother, “tikambilane” (“let’s discuss”). I followed them. Blue shirt had the audacity to tell us that “ineyo ndiimilila ngati mbale wake wa wanjingayu kuti ku police zikayende bwino chifukwa nde zikakuvutanitu.” (“let me pretend to be a relative to the cyclist so it goes well at the police station because it will be too difficult for you”). Like, are you serious? You want to make money out of this incident?? We said NO. We will sort it out ourselves. Thank God mum called dad, and he was there as these three men tried to give us their dubious plan. Dad said he would sort everything out, and that we should go home. I apologized to the cyclist (I learnt that his name is Yohane, 27 years old. He came to buy goods for his shop and that he had no relative nearby and knew no phone number we could call). He said he wasn’t hurt, just his lips were bleeding. I felt so relieved, although a huge part of me felt terrible. I told him that I was going home, but my parents would be there with him. He said that was ok.

People pointed at me as I walked to the car. I was still coming to terms with what had just happened. I couldn’t believe THAT just happened to us. I wanted to cry, but I told myself, “not now”. I went to see the bicycle, it was fine. The goods he bought were OK too. I couldn’t believe how people exaggerated everything. Then something told me, this has happened before. Only I was the injured one then, when I was young. But they also almost beat up the cyclist. This time, I was on the other end, being accused. And these were all ‘concerned witnesses.’ I will never forget that I was wearing a blue skirt today.

Sun Fun and Colours

Hi loves! I stepped out again and decided it was a maxi dress kind of day. It’s so sunny this side at the moment, and what better way to enjoy the day than with colours and some denim?

 

The dress is a spaghetti strap maxi dress. Ugh, I hate the fact that most maxi dresses require covering at the top (why??? )…buuuut then you get to play around with how to cover yourself anyway, so I guess that’s the upside.

Dress: Thrifted

When I bought the dress, it was actually too long; it was sweeping the streets so I decided to give it a little trim. I loved the colours and paisley patterns.

 

Denim shirt: Also thrifted.

The denim shirt is basically an oversize shirt that I decided to tie a knot and roll the sleeves. Honestly, I just wing it most days lol. I have a couple of these and they are sooo handy, especially with these maxi dresses. Don’t you just love how easy denim is to wear? It just fits almost anywhere!

Shoes: Pep

Something that I am mindful of when shopping is colour. I prefer buying a dress or skirt with a lot of colours so I don’t have difficulties matching it and I can use different colours every other time. For example, that dress could go with a blue, purple, pink or an orange shoe. By the way, I loooove mixing and matching. Same with shoes… try not to have shoes of just one or two colours. The more colours you have, the easier it is to mix and match.

Have fun this summer! Don’t forget to add colour to your life too! xxxx

Oh, and shout out to my baby sis, Grace, who was in charge of the photography. Thanks for always making time with you fun! x

The Shortest Verse in the Bible

My Sunday afternoons are usually reserved for naps. There’s something about Sunday afternoons that just demands being indoors, in your comfort zone. Unfortunately, I couldn’t seem to sleep today. To make it worse, my sister was in the room and it’s not easy to shut up when we have a thousand stories to share with each other. But soon, she had to leave for school, and I was left alone.

After about an hour, for some reason, my whole mood just changed suddenly. I just started to feel so low. There isn’t an incident that I can confidently point out to say, “this is why I am feeling crappy about myself, my future and just my life in general.” Have you ever felt that way? When you just start to feel sooooo looooow. It feels like the world is happening, and you have been left alone in this little ditch you can’t seem to get yourself out of. It’s even worse when it’s in the morning and you just feel like assuming the foetal position, staying under covers and sobbing the day away. Why? Sometimes you don’t even know. I’ve felt this way so many times. And I. HATE. IT. It seems to go on forever!

I tried everything I could to cheer myself up and dig my way out of this ditch I found myself in. I tried to play a game – I kept losing. I tried to nap again – my mind was racing. I tried to read – I couldn’t concentrate. I still felt so low. Then I decided, let me try to pray. I don’t think I’ve ever offered a disorganised prayer like today. It was jumbled, and half way through, I burst into tears. I was feeling so embarrassed that I am feeling so down, and I can’t even tell why I feel that way. I said, “Lord, I’m so sorry I feel this way. I don’t even understand myself. Could you please, just help me out?”

It would be so perfect if I said I felt soooo much better after that prayer, but that would be a lie. I felt even worse. I felt like my prayer didn’t even make it past the ceiling. It was as if I was digging myself deeper in this little depressed ditch. Eventually, I drew some strength and went for family altar. We are on the book of John, and we read how Lazarus was sick, but Jesus didn’t show up till he died. Then, when he did show up, he wept. Then I remembered something – when I was very young, we were told to memorise verses at Sunday School so we could recite them in church, and the first verse I memorised was John 11 verse 35: Jesus wept. It was one of those verses I never really understood but also didn’t put much thought into. But in this moment, when my strength was gone, and I was feeling horrible about everything, I stopped and thought, “wait a minute, the Son of God wept?? He actually had emotions?”

Dear friend, you may find yourself in a similar position, when your spirits are low, life seems dull, things are not going the way you would like them to, friends have neglected you, everyone seems to have their life moving, except you. I get the feeling. You are not alone; and please please, your feelings are valid. Don’t feel guilty. Just remember these two very important words: “Jesus wept”. May it be a reminder that God himself came to walk upon the earth, and he felt what you feel. He knows exactly how it feels to be low. He knows what loss feels like, heart break, pain… and he understands when you don’t even have the right words to say. He is there and he will hear you.

It brought so much joy in my heart to know that after he wept, he had the power to turn the whole situation around and command, “LAZARUS, COME FORTH!” and he performed a mind blowing miracle. Doesn’t that cheer you up? That you have a friend that can hear your heart and also have power to turn things around? That surely got me out of the little pit I felt like I was stuck in.

 

I hope this quotation can be an encouragement to you:

-You can never exhaust God’s love and mercy to you. You say, “Well, I hate to bother You so much, Father.”

He wants to be bothered that way. He does. Don’t never think that you could ever ask too much of God. I believe the Scripture said, “You have not, because you ask not. And you ask not, because you believe not.”

He wants us to ask and believe that our joys would be full. He wants you to ask abundantly. Ask for big things; don’t limit your faith to some little mustard seed. Get on out here to some other kind of faith, and move out in big things. Ask… Big things is just as easy to receive as little things. You just have to believe; that’s all. And you got faith, just know exactly how to use it, and it’ll be all right. You can put it right to work and it’ll just be fine. Could you imagine, talking about exhausting God’s love, and power, and beneficiaries for you. Could you imagine a little bitty fish, about that long, way out here in the middle of the ocean say, “Now, wait a minute. I better consider this thing. I better drink of this water sparingly, ’cause I might run out someday.” A little fish, about that big, in the middle of this ocean out here…

Well, that could easily be done, more easier than you could ask too much of God. He’s the inexhaustible Fountain of Life. Whatever you have need of, ask Him and believe it. He provided it in the redemptive blessings when He died at Calvary and gave a promise to you for everything you have need of while you’re in the journey. And it’s yours, if you’ll ask and believe it. That’s right. 

Could you imagine a little mouse, about so long, under the great garners of Egypt, saying, “Now, wait a minute. I better not eat but just about two grains a day, ’cause I might run out ’fore the winter’s over.”

    55-1111 – Where I Think Pentecost Failed
    Rev. William Marrion Branham

Chiffon Blouses and Black

Yay to my second post on modest style dressing! This was my first time outside after about two weeks, so I was very excited, though I only managed to put this outfit together last minute.

 

Blouse: Thrifted at Bwandilo in Lilongwe

 

Skirt: Tailor-made.

I bought the material at Fabric Centre in Limbe. The shop stocks a whole lot of beautiful material and there’s a shop assistant in there that really knows his stuff and gives great advice.

I originally wanted this to be a long skater skirt, but I found out the material I bought wasn’t enough, so the tailor settled for this (which was ok, I grew to love it).

Shoes: Some shop at the Karim Ayub Mart at Ginnery corner in Blantyre (I can’t believe I forgot the name of the shop).

So many great shoes in these shops. If you’re a flat shoes lover like me, totally check these shops. They are usually on sale too.

Bag: Gift from my sister Honest 😛

If you haven’t noticed, I looove wearing black. I usually just add a bit of colour so I don’t look like death lol, like the pink blouse in this case. Black is easy to ‘match’ and makes life so much easier. 

 

I think that’s enough talk. Till next time I’m dragged out of bed into the outside world, take care 🙂 x

P/S: You can check my post on thrift shopping here.

 

Some Questions I Can’t Answer

Allow me to talk to you as my friends and get personal. Recently, I wrote about what it’s been like to be “that girl that gets sick a lot” and how it has affected the way I look at life in general. I wrote about how this year alone, I’ve been admitted in several hospitals and been to so many clinics. There were a lot of things I wish I said, but I couldn’t. But now I will, because it seems necessary.
First of all, I think it’s rude to ask, “why do you get sick so frequently?” Or “what’s so wrong with you?” I know some ask my friends or family members instead, so I’ll give you the answer: I DON’T KNOW. But I don’t like that question. I know you may mean well, but all it does is make me feel bad about my condition.
If I’m to be honest, I don’t like to announce I’m ill again; heck, most times I just keep it to myself and tell family and a few friends. I know what a burden disease is. I don’t like it. I don’t like seeing my family look worried, or watch my mum move to my room just so we can get through the night, or someone carrying me because I’m too weak to stand, or all the money spent just so I can get the right care. I don’t even like hospitals and as much as I appreciate visitors when I’m admitted, I don’t like feeling like I’m troubling anyone. It’s unpleasant. And most nurses and doctors in Malawi make you feel like it’s your fault you’re ill (story for another day). I don’t like it. At all.
So please, I’m begging you, this, “why are you always sick” question, I know you may mean well, but it’s not a nice thing to ask someone who is suffering. All it does is make me feel worse about my condition. Because I DON’T KNOW. And if I’m honest, it’s one of the main reasons why I keep the pain I’m feeling to myself because I’m worried it will be, “eish, she’s sick again, what’s wrong this time”, but all that does is make everything worse because by the time I’m seeking help, I’m too sick. You can ask my close friends and family, how strong I force myself to be just so I’m not viewed as “that sick girl”. I used to force myself to class in uni. Now I force myself to work. I show up. I laugh about things. I keep moving. It hasn’t been a very smooth ride for me or my family. If you are really concerned about my health, please remember me in prayer, or give me an encouraging word. That’s all I can ask.

Thank you.

Guide to Thrift Shopping (Kaunjika Strategies)

I was out here living my quiet life, when one of my good friends, Angasa, sent me this:


This girl pushes me beyond my limits, you guys. I have never considered modest style blogging but I told her I would think about it. So, I am literally starting my “modest clothes blogging section” thing (I’ll have a better name for it soon) with exactly what she suggested: Kaunjika Strategies.

Kaunjika is a Chichewa word, loosely translated to “heap” which is how second hand clothes are ‘displayed’ this side of the world. Customers pick the clothes they like from this heap of second hand clothes and pay for it; basically, thrifting. Which is something I absolutely love. I have very good reasons why I am such a lover of thrifted clothes.

  1. I am very tiny. The shops in Malawi hardly stock my size or style. I find my size and style in kaunjika.
  2. Most store-bought clothes are too common for me. I hate having to wear something everyone is wearing (the uniform I wore in school was enough).

I have a shopping problem but I am too poor to have this problem (*sobs*). Thrifting allows me to have retail therapy and still feel satisfied lol. Anyway, main reason here is that I am poor. The other reasons are just there for decoration.

Dress and jacket totally thrifted

So let me get right into it. Here what I think is okay to buy second hand:

  • Skirts

  • Dresses

  • Shirts/tops
  • Jackets
  • Coats

  • Belts

I personally avoid buying these things second hand:

  • Leather anything
  • Shoes (not worth the disappointment)
  • Handbags

These things are usually second hand for a reason. Sometimes you do find good shoes or handbags second hand, but it is very rare. I would recommend saving up and buying these items brand new. Because of my size, most of the clothes I buy are a little big for me; either it’s too long, or just a size or two bigger. But if I think it’s cute, I do not hesitate to buy it. Tailors in Malawi are affordable. Find a tailor who is excellent at adjusting clothes (yes, there are tailors that specialise in adjusting clothes- find one and stick to them because they get used to your style and size). Here is a dress that was waaay too long for me that I had adjusted:

Here is another that was too big also, I had an elastic added around the waist too so it would flow.

Another thing to look out for is ‘belo yotsegula kumene’ i.e. second hand clothes that JUST came in. These usually have clothes that are of a higher quality; some that still have their tags on them. When you find something you actually like, do not be too quick to pay for it. INSPECT IT. Most times, the item really is too good to be true. It’s a shame to go home and find out that white dress you picked has a big stain you can’t remove; or the jacket you picked has no buttons at all.

My trick to not get tired easily when I’m kaunjika shopping is to inspect the first five-ten clothes I see on the heap. If that sample doesn’t interest me, I move on. Another trick is to actually ask the seller what kind of clothes they are selling, and if they have your size. Most of them take the hint and start searching with you. If they don’t have what you’re looking for, you save a lot of time and energy.
Lastly, I hope I look back at this some years later and laugh about what a thrifty girl I was although I won’t lie, I derive a lot of pleasure in thrift shopping. I hope this little guide was of good use to you and that this is the start of something wonderful. I also hope to have better pictures next time.

Happy thrifting!

Circles in the Ceiling

For a long while now, I have been that girl that goes in and out of hospital. Since first year of uni, I have had so many visits to clinics, hospitals and gone through scans and tests and met numerous doctors. I’m grateful for all the help I have received, and that I am fortunate enough to have received such treatment. I also got to be visited by my loving family and friends, who I am wholeheartedly thankful for (I receive some juice flavours I’d never even heard of lol). I won’t get down into too much detail of what my body actually goes through, because I’m not trying to make this a pity post. But during my stays in various wards, I have observed a few things:

  • Do not get sick on weekends (pharmacies, administrators are usually closed. Few personnel on duty.)
  • Do not get sick at night (how dare you disturb the nurses while they are sleeping on their shift??)
  • Do not get sick when they are about to leave work for home. They get very annoyed.

Of course you don’t choose what time you will get ill. If you did, you would choose the ideal time, like on a Tuesday (so you’re not a victim of someone’s Monday mood), maybe before the morning round… something like that. But it still doesn’t stop the nurses from complaining and making you feel horrible for arriving at the hospital at ‘the wrong time’. I’m sure I mentioned these are private institutions. I can’t imagine how worse it is on the public side.

ANYWAY. The point of this post is a whole other story. Kwinaku ndangogwelako. Just letting you on the state of Malawi’s health care. You know how you get those “be thankful you woke up this morning because someone else didn’t” messages, and well, you think of that for a second and forget about it. That message hits home for me. I truly am grateful for life. And I want you to be grateful too; but I don’t want you to wait till you’re under drips, being fed, washed and carried to remember to be grateful.

I will give you an example. Once, I was at Zomba Central Hospital for about a week. Thanks to the university insurance scheme, I was at the paying ward. Every bed was surrounded by blue curtains (I never forget those blue curtains cause they separated me from the rest of the world). Usually, when people came to visit, I tried to look cheerful so no one would worry. It was in few cases when visitors witnessed the pain I was really going through. But when they left, it was gloomy. Mum would try her best to cheer me up, but sometimes I just wanted to be alone and she would know I just wanted some quiet. Sometimes I would get on social media, and I just ended up feeling worse when I see people enjoying the sunshine, or feeling like everyone is doing way better than me and I’m stuck in a hospital with terrible toilets.

I remember very well that my bed was near a window, and the neighbouring ward was the Male Surgical(?) Ward. This was a very hard time for me. I would hear people cry a lot, sometimes in the middle of the night, and we would know another soul was gone. It was hard and I would difficulties sleeping. Some of the people that were in the same ward as me are not alive today. It made me feel so heavy.

The question that usually lingered in my mind was, “why are you alive, Fai?” and I knew fully well I was not deserving of life. But I’m kind of glad I went through that. It shook me to reality. It made me question my existence. My purpose. Why am I here? Why did God let me live? instead of, “why me???” It made me repair my relationship with Christ and leave behind the little unnecessary things that weighed me down. I tried to do more things for his Kingdom but to be honest, I still feel like there’s a lot I haven’t done.

So for you, I don’t think you need to be sick, laying in hospital to start thinking about purpose, your legacy and et cetera. Think about that now, when you have your health. When you still have the energy. Why do you think you are here today? What kind of story will people tell about you? What impact have you made? Is what you’re preoccupying yourself with really worth it? What will happen to you when this life is over? What will you tell the Giver of Life?

Circles in the ceiling. This is something I saw for the first time this morning. Yesterday, I fell ill while in the field. My work mates had to carry me to the emergency side of Kamuzu Central Hospital where I went through some tests, and I had to wait for hours for a doctor who only ended up telling me to buy painkillers (what being in Malawi is like at the moment, ladies and gentlemen). When I came back to my room, I looked up and thought about my life again. What have I actually done since the last time I told myself I would live to fulfil my purpose and do more for His Kingdom? I noticed those circles which I had never really paid attention to before. Not that the circles are of importance, but it made me wonder why I have to go through illness to pay attention to some things – to remember how short and fragile life is. After that, I listened to a song that talked about satisfaction. Who am I living for? How satisfied is my Master with how I am living the life he gave me?

-“If God was done with you, you wouldn’t have woken up today. Fulfill your purpose.”

Neighbours

I think one of the best examples of income inequality in Malawi is found in the city of Zomba. There are two schools that are next to each other. One is called Mponda Primary School. The other is called Sir Harry Johnson Primary school. Even by the name, you can tell which is for the ding dong kids, and the other, well…
Sir Harry educates the privileged. The kids of big bosses in town. The ones that can’t be spanked, oh no… Those go to the naughty corner. They ask their parents, “is everything OK at home?” when their kid refuses to share the toy with their friend that day. They are dropped off at school and picked up, sealed with a “have a good day, sweetie!” as their parent (s) drive off in their car.
Mponda kids walk to school. Their class is too large for the teacher to pay attention to every pupil. Sometimes their uniform is not very tidy. Sometimes they come to school with no shoes. Sometimes it’s hard to pay attention because they didn’t have breakfast in the morning.
Eventually, maybe they meet as adults. Maybe they are in the same class in university. Maybe. But chances are, the Mponda kid went against all odds and finally passed their MSCE exams. They got selected to a university, maybe not the program they wanted but “degree ndi degree basi”. However, the fees is too high. They can’t make it past this huddle. Maybe they take on a petty job instead, as the Sir Harry kid makes it to a good university and maintains their status in society. Maybe end up working in an NGO which preaches the message that school is important, and that the key to success is education. Our Sir Harry-educated kid believes Malawians are lazy people who rely on handouts, which perpetuates poverty. They drop off their kid (s) at Sir Harry while the house help’s kid (s) walk to Mponda School (did I mention they are literally neighbors?).
Anyway, while at uni, I overheard a group of secondary school girls say to each other, “I’m doing this school thing so my kids can learn at Sir Harry Johnson.” I pray to God they passed their exams and found the fees to pay for tertiary education.

How to be Unhappy in 5 Easy Steps:

1. Compare your life with your neighbor’s, your friends, classmates and right about anyone you meet. They have a new car? Quick! You must get one better than that! If you can’t, be sure to whine about how your life sucks and how “good things don’t happen to good people”.
2. Surround yourself with people that do nothing but make you feel bad about yourself and use you. Also, choose friends that talk about other people all day. How else will you hear the latest gossip? Who doesn’t want to feel better about themself by bringing other people down? Nothing bonds friends like gossip! And it’s not like these very same friends will talk about you behind your back! They are your ‘squaaaa’ for a reason! They TOTALLY keep the stories you tell them about yourself between you two.
3. Be sure to only pray when you need something. Do you REALLY have to pray every day? Is it necessary to have some time and just read His Word and tell Him how grateful you are? For what? It’s OK, God understands you’re such a busy person! Times are hard! You need to hustle! Don’t forget to complain when you don’t get what you asked for! And about your eternal destination: “tikaziwonela konko!” (“We’ll see when we get there!”)
4. Live beyond your means. If you can’t afford something, be sure to borrow money you can’t return. You need to live a comfortable, luxurious life even if your income won’t allow it. Tomorrow will sort itself out. Easy.
5. Marry the wrong partner. This is probably the easiest, quickest way to be unhappy.
Have a happy unhappy life ☺